关于高中英语小笑话带翻译:高中英语短文带翻译
笑话可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。小编分享关于高中英语小笑话带翻译，希望可以帮助大家!
关于高中英语小笑话带翻译：证券经济人
An 84-year-old retired stockbroker was admitted to our hospital’s intensive-care unit,sufferingfrom a peptic ulcer and shock from internal hemorrhage. As intravenous lines were startedand fluid infused, his vital signs improved rapidly.
The nurses dramatically announced the blood-pressure readings, starting at the shock level of 60 and increasing to ‘70...80...90’
There was no doubt abou t the patient’s successful recovery when in the midst of theirintonations, he suddenly yelled, When it gets to 110---SELL.’
我们医院的特护部收治了一位84岁的退休证券经纪人，他患有消化系统溃疡，引发内出血而休克。随着静脉注射管的架起，药液的注入，它很快现实复苏的迹象。
护士们戏剧性的宣读他的血压读数。从休可时的60，增加到“70...80...90...。”
毫无疑问，病人已成功的抢救过来了，就在这时，在护士们的吟诵中，他突然叫道，“等到110时，抛出。”关于高中英语小笑话带翻译：Two Skulls
Tourist: Whose skull is it?
Guide: That is the skull of Julius Caesar.
Tourist: Then whose is that small one beside it?
Guide: That, sir, is the skull of Julius Caesar when he was a small boy.
两颗头盖骨
游览者：那是谁的头盖骨?
导游：那是朱利叶斯?凯撒的头盖骨。
游览者：那么旁边的小头盖骨是谁的呢?
导游：那个么，先生，是凯撒大帝小时候的头盖骨。关于高中英语小笑话带翻译：论奇迹On Miracle
In Sunday school, the minister was trying to illustrate the word miracle. “Boys and girls,” hesaid, “suppose I stood on the roof of a ten-story building, lost my balance and fell off. Then allof a sudden in midair, a whirlwind swept me up and brought me safely to the ground. Now whatword would you use to describe this?”
After a long silence a boy raised his ha nd and said, “Luck?”
”True, ture,” replied the minister. “It could be luck - but that’s not the word I wanted. I’ll repeatthe story. There I am on top of the ten-story building again, and I fall. A whirlwind catches mein midair and places me safely on the ground. Think now - what word would decribe thesituation?”
”Accident,” cried out one girl.
”No, no,” answered the minister. “Listen carefully for the third time. I’m on the same building; Ifall and am swept to safety by a sudden whirlwind. What word could account for my safelyreaching the ground?”
The boys and girls shouted in unison:”Practice!”
在主日学校里，牧师正举例说明“奇迹”一词的意义。“孩子们，”他说：“假如我站在一座十层高的楼顶上，失去平衡掉了下来。在跌落到半空中时，突然刮来一阵旋风，把我举起来，使我安全着陆。想想看，该用什么词来描绘这件事?”
很长时间没有回答。后来一个男孩举手说：“运气”
“好吧，好吧，”牧师回答说：“可以说是运气，不过那不是我想要的词。我再讲一遍这个故事。我还是在一座十层高的楼顶上，从上面摔下来。一阵旋风在半空中把我托住，使我安全返回地面。好好想一下，该用什么词来描绘这一情景呢?”
“意外，”有个女孩大声说。
“不对，不对，”牧师说：“你们仔细听，再听一遍。我还是在那座楼顶上，摔下来时被一阵突然刮来的旋风托住，转危为安。用什么词来解释我安全返回地面这事?”
孩子们齐声叫道：“反复练习!”
英语幽默笑话带翻译新 GE GROUP system office room 【GEIHUA16H-GEIHUA GEIHUA8Q8-
英语幽默笑话带翻译 1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 医生懂得多 一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多." 2:You can't go without me The bus is very crowded. A man tries to get on, but no one gives way to him. "Hey, let me get on the bus." the man shouts. "It's too crowded. You'd better take the next bus." a passenger says to him. "But you can't go without me. I'm the driver." the man says. 没有我你们走不了 公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路.
英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译) 线话英语|2016-03-14 17:03:05 英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下： Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE". 中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。 Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I’m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys." "Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
1 Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩：这个座位是空的么？ 女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。 2，Boy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money. 男孩：我可以给你买杯饮料吗？ 女孩：你不如直接把钱给我得了。 3. My little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不识字 布朗夫人：哦， 亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！ 布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。” 4. 反正我太太明天会来换的 My Wife Will Exchange Them A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves. ″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson. ″Makes no difference″replied customer. ″What color﹖″ asked the clerk. ″Any″ he responded. ″Size﹖″ ″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasper ated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow t o exchange them.″ 反正我太太明天会来换的 一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。 “您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。
Unit 1 (sectionB 3a) Dear Student, My name is Bob . I live in Toronto , Canada , and I want a pen pal in China . I think China is a interesting country . I’m 14 years old and my brithday is in November . I can sperk English and a littie Frenth . I have a brother , Paul , and a sister , Sarah . They have pen pals in the United Kingdom and Australia . I like going to the movies with my friends and playing sports . My favorite subject in school is P.E . It’s fun . But I don’t like math. It’s too difficult! Can you wtite to me soon? Bob 亲爱的同学， 我的名字叫鲍勃，我住在加拿大的多伦多。我想在中国找个笔友。我认为中国是个非常有趣的国家。我十四岁，我的生日在九月。我能说英语和一点法语。我有一个哥哥 Paul, 和一个姐姐Sarah。他们在英国和澳大利亚有笔友。我喜 欢和我的朋友们看电影和做运动。在学校我最喜欢的科目是体育。它很有趣。但我不喜欢数学。它太难了。你能尽快给我写信吗 Bob 3b PEN PAL WANTED My name is Tom King . I’m 14 years old and I’m from Australia . I sperk English . I have a brother , Sam , and a sister , Lisa . I play soccer on weekengs . It’s my favorite sport . I like music at school . It’s fun! My favorite movte is The Long Weekend . Do you know it ? It’s an action movie . Please write and tell me about yoursrlf. 征集笔友 我的名字是汤姆~金。我14岁,我来自澳大利亚。我讲英语。我有一个哥哥, 萨姆,和一个妹妹,莉莎。我在周末踢足球，那是我最喜欢的运动。我喜欢学校的音乐课。它是有趣的!我最喜欢的电影是《这个长周末》。你知道它吗?它是一部动作片。 请写信给我,告诉我有关你的一些情况。 Unit 2 (sectionB 3a) Welcome to the Garden District Turn left on First Avenue and enjoy the city’s quiet streets and smail parks . Take a walk through the park on Center Avenue . Across from the park is an old hotel . Next to the hotel is a small house with an interesting garden . This is the benginning of the garden tour. 欢迎来到这个花园区 在第一大街左转并享受这个城市的安静街道和小公园。在中心大道上散步穿过这个公园。在公园对面是一个老旅馆。紧靠这个旅馆旁边是一个带着有趣花园的小房子。开始游历这个花园。
短篇英语笑话10则带翻译 ①Goldfish金鱼 Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them? Stan: In the bathroom 。 Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them! =================================================================== 斯丹：我赢了92 条金鱼。 弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？ 斯丹：浴室。 弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？ 斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！ ②The Revenge 欺骗的代价 Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!" =================================================================== 老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。” 妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。” 约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。” 妻子：“为什么？” 约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。” ③I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一只鸡 Psychiatrist: What's your problem? Patient: I think I'm a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on? Patient: Ever since I was an egg! =================================================================== 精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？ 病人：我认为我是一只鸡。 精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？ 病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。 ④How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出来 Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?" =================================================================== 当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前，说道：“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢？”
英语幽默笑话故事带翻译 篇一：英语短文笑话(带翻译) 1、How much English can you speak? "Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English." The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?" The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!" 中文翻译 "法官先生，我的当事人被指控偷窃，这是多么不公正啊。他一周前才来到纽约，几乎不认路。而且，他只会说几个英语单词。" 法官看了看被告，问道："你会说多少英文？" 被告抬起头，说："把你的钱包给我！" 2 A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day, whereas women use 30000 words a day. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. He said, "What?" 丈夫给妻子看了一项调查结果，为了向她证明女人比男人啰嗦。研究表明男人平均每天使用15000个字，而女人每天使用30000个。 妻子想了一会儿说，女人每天说的字数是男人的两倍，因为她们必须重复已经说过的话。他问："什么？" 3 Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩：这个座位是空的么？ 女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。 4、 "Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying." "Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any." "But has he finished his own cake?" "Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that." "汤姆，你弟弟怎么了？" 妈妈在厨房里问。"他在哭。" "没事儿，妈妈，" 汤姆答道。"我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因为我不给他吃。" "他已经吃完自己的了么？" "是的。" "我帮他吃完时，他也哭了。"
1 Dogs People often say that a dog is man's best friend. Over thousands of years, man has taught his dogs to do many kinds of work besides guarding the home. For example, sheepdogs are famous for their ability to control a flock of hundreds of sheep. Dogs have been used to aid disabled people for centuries. A guide dog can lead its blind owner. Nowadays, dogs can be taught to turn on light switches, open refrigerator doors and dial the telephone for their disabled owners. For the majority of people, however, dogs are simply pets and friends for both young and old members of the family. guard 看守,看护sheepdog 牧羊犬flock 群aid 帮助 disabled 残疾人century 世纪guide dog 导盲犬dial 拨majority 大多数 狗 人们总是说狗是人类最好的朋友.几千年来,除了看家外,人类还教会了狗去做许多其他的事,例如,牧羊犬就因其可以控制数百只羊的羊群而出名. 狗用来帮助残疾人已有好几个世纪了.导盲犬可以为盲主人引路.现在,人们还教狗为残疾主人打 开电灯、开冰箱和拨电话.然而,对于大多数人来说,狗只是家里老人和孩子们的宠物和朋友. 2 Detective Work A bank robber stole a lot of money. He was caught and sent to prison, but the money was never found. When he came out of prison, they watched him to see what he would do. Here is the detective, reporting to the inspector. Yes, sir, I found Johnny . I followed him all around the town, but frankly, I couldn't make anything out of what he bought. Here's the list. shirt , heavy crowbar, box of chocolates , shovel, heavy hammer, bunch of flowers .The inspector said, Good. That helps me a lot. Do you remember how we watched him helping his neighbor, old Mrs. Judson to cover her backyard with cement? detective 侦探的侦探robber 强盗,盗贼prison 监狱 inspector 检察官frankly 坦白地,真诚地crowbar 铁撬,撬棒 shovel 铲,铁铲hammer 铁锤,锤子backyard 后院cement 水泥 侦探工作 一个盗贼从银行偷了很多钱.他被抓住送到监狱,但是钱没找到. 我发现了,先生,是的“侦探正向检察官报告：,这不.看他会做什么,他被监视,当他从监狱出来时．强尼?阿米塔基,我跟着他转遍了全镇,但坦白说,我不能从他买的东西中推断出什么.这里是清单.”衬衫、大铁撬、一盒巧克力铁铲、大铁锤、一束花. 检察官说：“好,这对我很有帮助.你还记得我们看到他是怎么帮他的邻居,贾德森老太太用水泥铺院子的吗?” 3 What is Time? （Nursery Rhyme） Time is grain for peasants. Time is wealth for workers.
英语短篇幽默小故事 篇一：英语幽默小故事10篇. 英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下： Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。 Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
英语笑话带翻译短一些的 篇一：超简短的5个英文笑话 超简短的5个英文笑话1. Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. 老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。 One boy throws his bag out the window. 一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。 Teacher: who just threw that?! 老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了? Boy: Me! I’m going home now. 男孩：我!我现在要回家了。 2. What dog can jump higher than a building? 什么狗比大楼跳的还高? Anydog, buildings can't jump! 任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。 3. What has a head, a tail, and no body? 什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体? A coin! 硬币。 4. What has one eye but cannot see? 什么有一只眼睛，却看不见? A needle. 针。 5. Wife: "How would you describe me?" 妻子：你会怎么形容我呢? Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." 丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK. Wife: "What does that mean?" 妻子：那是什么意思? Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." 丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。 Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" 妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢? Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
1----------------精选公文范文----------------1 英语幽默小短文加翻译:20个英语笑话爆笑超短 各位读友大家好，此文档由网络收集而来，欢迎您下载，谢谢 幽默语言是借助于语言工具来建构和表达幽默的一种方式,它是幽默的一种具体的形式。小编整理了英语幽默小短文加翻译，欢迎阅读! 英语幽默小短文加翻译篇一 终身保修 After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he’d originally wanted. So we exhumed the body and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket.
2----------------精选公文范文----------------2 “What’s so special about this coffin” I asked the funeral director. He replied, “It has a lifetime warranty.” 在将母亲下葬9个月后，当地殡仪馆的一个客户终于攒够了钱去买那副他早就相中的价值不菲的棺材了。他把母亲的棺材挖了出来，将尸体转移到了那副新的钢制棺材中。“这副棺材有什么特别”，我问葬礼的承办人。他回答说，“这种棺材终生保修。英语幽默小短文加翻译篇二 献错殷勤 At a dinner party a shy young man had been trying to think of something nice to say to his hostess. At last he saw his chance when she turned to him and remarked, “What a small appetite you have tonight, Mr.
最搞笑的英语小笑话十则 篇一：爆笑的经典英语小笑话 英语笑话（一） 老师在黑板上写了一句：Timeismoney.并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。”小明上英文课时跟老师说：mayIgotothetoilet? 老师说：goahead. 小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：mayIgotothetoilet? 老师说：goahead. 小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！ 英语笑话（二） 某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：Iamhongtaoliu，外宾曰：我Tm 还是方片七呢！英语笑话（三） 江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道："missJiang,youareverybeautiful."翻译照翻，江青心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。 翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："where?where?"外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："everywhere,everywhere." 翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不
见得，不见得”。翻译赶紧翻成英文："Youarenotallowedtosee,youarenotallowedtosee." 英语笑话（四） 话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「IAm后羿！」 b神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「IAm丘比特！」 轮到c了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...Am...soRRY...」 英语笑话（五） 某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：Iamsorry.老外应道：Iamsorrytoo. 某人听后又道：Iamsorrythree. 老外不解，问：whatareyousorryfor? 某人无奈，道：Iamsorryfive. 英语笑话（六） 一位来自日本的旅客，坐出租车去机场的路上，看到一辆汽车经过，就说：“oh，ToKoTA！madeinJapan!Itisveryfast！”又有一辆经过，他又说：“oh，nIssAn！madeinJapan!Itisveryfast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，honDA！madeinJapan!Itisveryfast！”
英语幽默笑话带翻译 1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 医生懂得多 一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:" 我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动 着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多." 2:You can't go without me The bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. "Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts. "It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him. "But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says. 没有我你们走不了 公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路. "喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道. "车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说. "但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道. 3:Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!" 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年 龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了
英语幽默小故事带翻译 导读：本文英语幽默小故事带翻译，仅供参考，如果觉得很不错，欢迎点评和分享。 The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18. But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised. "How old are you?" he said. "Eighteen, sir," said John. "But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?" "Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am." 大五个月第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。“你多大了?”军医问。“十八，长官。”约翰说。“可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?”约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。”
关于英语小笑话简单爆笑 篇一：爆笑的经典英语小笑话 爆笑的经典英语小笑话 英语笑话（一） 老师在黑板上写了一句： Time is money.并让同学们翻译。 有名学生答道： “汤姆是玛丽。 ” 小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明又坐了下来。 他旁边的同学于是忍不住问： 你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？ 小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！ 英语笑话（二） 某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am hongtao liu，外宾曰：我 TM 还是方片七呢！ 英语笑话（三） 江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马 屁道："Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful." 翻译照翻，江青心花怒 放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪 里，哪里”。 翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："Where? Where?" 外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追 问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："Everywhere, everywhere." 翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得”。翻 译赶紧翻成英文："You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see." 英语笑话（四） 话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。 A 神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。A 高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大 拇指道：「I AM 后羿！」 B 神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM 丘比特！」 轮到 C 了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！ 结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一 句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」 英语笑话（五） 某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞， 忙说：I am sorry. 老外应道：I am sorry too. 某人听后又道：I am sorry three. 老外不解，问：What are you sorry for? 某人无奈，道：I am sorry five. 英语笑话（六）
1、How much English can you speak? "Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English." The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?" The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!" 中文翻译 "法官先生，我的当事人被指控偷窃，这是多么不公正啊。他一周前才来到纽约，几乎不认路。而且，他只会说几个英语单词。" 法官看了看被告，问道："你会说多少英文？" 被告抬起头，说："把你的钱包给我！" 2 A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day, whereas women use 30000 words a day. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. He said, "What?" 丈夫给妻子看了一项调查结果，为了向她证明女人比男人啰嗦。研究表明男人平均每天使用15000个字，而女人每天使用30000个。 妻子想了一会儿说，女人每天说的字数是男人的两倍，因为她们必须重复已经说过的话。 他问："什么？" 3 Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩：这个座位是空的么？ 女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。 4、 "Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying." "Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying
儿童英语幽默小故事带翻译：猴子捞月 One day,a little monkey is playing by the well.一天，有只小猴子在井边玩儿。He looks in the well and sh 2 One day,a little monkey is playing by the well. 一天，有只小猴子在井边玩儿。 He looks in the well and shouts; 它往井里一瞧，高喊道： “Oh!My god!The moon has fallen into the well!” “噢！我的天！月亮掉到井里头啦！” An older monkeys runs over, takes a look,and says, 一只大猴子跑来一看，说， “Goodness me!The moon is really in the water!” “糟啦！月亮掉在井里头啦！” And olderly monkey comes over. 老猴子也跑过来。 He is very surprised as well and cries out; 他也非常惊奇，喊道： “The moon is in the well.” “糟了，月亮掉在井里头了！” A group of monkeys run over to the well.
一群猴子跑到井边来， They look at the moon in the well and shout： 他们看到井里的月亮，喊道： “The moon did fall into the well!Come on!Let’get it out!” “月亮掉在井里头啦！快来！让我们把它捞起来！” Then,the oldest monkey hangs on the tree up side down ,with his feet on the branch. 然后，老猴子倒挂在大树上， And he pulls the next monkey’s feet with his hands. 拉住大猴子的脚， All the other monkeys follow his suit, 其他的猴子一个个跟着， And they join each other one by one down to the moon in the well. 它们一只连着一只直到井里。 Just before they reach the moon,the oldest monkey raises his head and happens to see the moon in the sky. 正好他们摸到月亮的时候，老猴子抬头发现月亮挂在天上呢。 He yells excitedly “Don’t be so foolish!The moon is still in the sky!” 它兴奋地大叫：“别蠢了！月亮还好好地挂在天上呢！”