1.you look like you are 18. 你看起来好像才18岁(东方人普遍看起来年轻XD)
2.you like to eat chicken feet. 你喜欢吃鸡爪子 (欧洲不吃）
3.you ** on fish heads and fish fins.你吃鱼时会吸鱼头和鱼鳍(鱼头是精华啊！还有那叫鱼翅啊很贵的！！！！)
4.you have a chinese knick-knack hanging on your rear view mirror. 你的车子后视镜上会吊中国摆设 （祈平安的吗……）
5.you sing karaoke. 你唱kTV(有人说是唐人街才有的玩意儿，真的么囧)
6.your house is covered with tile.你的房子铺的是瓷砖(据说别人家都是木板)
7.your kitchen is covered by a sticky film of grease.你的厨房覆盖着一层厚厚的油脂(没办法，炒菜是中餐的精华啊=v=)
8.your stove is covered with aluminum foil. 你的炉子上面有铝箔 （我家没有……）
9.you leave the plastic covers on your remote control. 你的遥控器外面包着塑料皮(据说真的只有中国人才这样囧)
10.you've never kissed your mom or dad. 你从没吻过你父母(中国人谁这样啊)
11.you've never hugged your mom or dad. 你从没抱过你父母(幼儿园时算不算?)
12.your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500. 你的视觉想象力低于20/500(说我们不会幻想？确实耀家的教育就不太鼓励个性化和想象力)
翻译错了。。这个是说吾们的裸视有多悲剧。。。。
13.you wear contacts,to avoid wearing your "coke bottle glasses". 你戴隐形眼镜, 这样才能避免戴你的"瓶底眼镜"(中国人很多都近视……出国人群尤甚)
14.you've worn glasses since you were in fifth grade. 你五年级开始就戴眼镜了. (没办法啊学习最大啊……)
15.your hair sticks up when you wake up. 你睡醒后头发会竖起来.（会么？）
16.you'll haggle over something that is not negotiable. 你会为一些不可质疑的事情辩论. (这是啥玩意啊囧)
17.you love to use coupons. 你喜欢用折价券. (勤俭节约是美德~~)
18.you drive around looking for the cheapest petrol. 你为了最便宜的汽油费不息开着车子到处找. (哈哈哈哈哈哈|||||）
19.you drive around for hours looking for the best parking space. 你开着车子兜圈为了找到最好的停车位. (确实……难道别家人都不会这么做么|||||我以为很常见囧)
20.you take showers at night. 你晚上洗澡. (他们都是早上洗……)
21.you avoid the non-free snacks in hotel rooms. 旅店房间里的非免费食品你都不吃. (那当然啊那些东西那么贵……节约王道= =)
22.you don't mind squeezing 20people into one motel room. 你不介意二十个人挤一间汽车旅房. (那也太抠门了吧...)
23.most girls have more body hair than you,if you are male. 如果你是男人, 那么你身上的体毛比大多数女人
少. (……呃……|||||||||||||||)
24.you tap the table when someone pours tea for you. 别人为你倒茶你就用手敲一下桌子. (在广东茶楼尤其如此, 不然没礼貌)
25.you say "aiya!"and "wah!"frequently.你经常说"哎(二声)呀(四声)" 和 "哇(四声)".（=口=！！！！我可算知道耀君那声经典的“哎呀”是怎么回事了！！！)
26.you don't want to wear your seatbelt because it is uncomfortable.你不喜欢系安全带因为安全带让你感觉不舒服. (我就这样囧)
27.you love las vegas,slot machines,and blackjack. 你喜欢拉斯维加斯, TIGER机和二十一点. (中国人好赌…………也有因为国内赌博犯法吧……)
28.you unwrap christmas gifts very carefully,so you can reuse the paper. 你细心地打开你的圣诞节礼物, 因为你要留着包装纸再用. (现在很少留了……以前常有= =|||||)
29.you only buy christmas cards after christmas,when they are 50%off. 你只会在圣诞节后买圣诞卡, 因为他们打了五折. (其实不买最好=v=)
30.you have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.你的厨房桌子上有一条抹布. (老外只有纸巾)
31.you spit bones and other food scraps on the table.that's why you need the vinyl tablecloth. 你把骨头和其他杂碎吐在桌子上, 所以你必须有抹布. (= =||||||||||||||)
32.you have stuff in the freezer since the beginning of time. 你的电冰箱存着史前食物. （确实经常从冰箱角落发掘出N年的东西= =）
33.you use the dishwasher as a dish rack. 你把洗碗机当碗橱 （我家没洗碗机不过看到过很多家都这么干）
34.you have never used your dishwasher. 你从来没用过你的洗碗机. （……）
35.you keep a thermos of hot water available at all times. 你有一个热水瓶里面永远装着热水. （当然喝水要喝开水啦）
36.you eat all meals in the kitchen. 你在厨房吃饭. （如果厨房够大能摆得下桌子）
37.you save grocery bags,tin foil,and tin containers. 你把用过的塑料袋, 锡纸和锡盘留着. （可以再利用嘛）
38.you have a piano in your living room. 你客厅里有一架钢琴. (管他会不会弹, 看起来倍儿有面子←我家就这样= =||||||||||)
39.you pick your teeth at the dinner table (but you cover your mouth).你会在餐桌上剔牙, 但手遮着嘴. （外国人在餐桌不剔牙）
40.you twirl your pen around your fingers. 你会转笔. （好像外国人也有会的）
41.you hate to waste food. 你讨厌浪费食物. (自己家里吃饭是总想把上顿剩的吃掉，但是在饭馆……OTL)
42.you have tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.你冰箱里有三口剩饭和一只剩鸡翅.（没有……）
43.you don't own any real tupperware -only a cupboard full of used b
ut carefully rinsed margarine tubs,takeout containers,and jam jars. 你没有任何真正的盛具——只有一橱子用过的仔细清洁干净的黄油罐，外卖容器和果酱罐。（口胡啊，耀家的饭盒制造业也很发达的！不过好像剩饭一般都用原来的盘子蒙上保鲜膜丢冰箱啊）
44.you also use the jam jars as drinking glasses. 你把果酱瓶当水杯用. (……80年代的做法)
45.you have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel. 你有收集旅馆免费洗发水瓶子的爱好.（也是80年代的做法）
46.you carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (travel means any car ride longer than 15minutes).these snacks are always dried and include dried plums,mango,ginger,and squid. 你每次外出十五分钟都会带着你的零食:干芒果, 李子或烤鱿鱼. （偶从来没这习惯）
47.you wash your rice at least 2-3times before cooking it. 你会洗2-3次米.（淘米嘛……我洗不止2-3次）
48.your dad thinks he can fix everything himself. 你爸以为自己可以修任何东西. （他真的会！）
49.the dashboard of your honda is covered by hundreds of small toys. 你的车子里堆了无数玩偶. （很多人有这习惯）
50.you don't use measuring cups. 你不用量杯. （用来干嘛？）
51.you beat eggs with chopsticks. 你用筷子打鸡蛋.（很正常啊）
52.you have a teacup with a cover on it. 你有一个有盖的茶杯. (老式的80年代白瓷茶杯~~~)
53.you always look phone numbers up in the phone book,since calling information (*69)costs 50cents. 你总是在电话簿里找电话号码, 因为咨询电话费用为五角. （……无法评论……）
54.you only make long distance calls after 11pm. 你只在11点后打长途. (为了省钱……这里可是节俭的耀家！)
55.if you are male,you clap at something funny and if you are female,you giggle whilst placing a hand over your mouth. 如果你是男性，看到搞笑的东西时你会拍手；如果是女性则会用一手捂住嘴咯咯地笑。（呃……淑女嘛……=________=）
56.you like chinese films in their original undubbed versions. 你喜欢没有配过音的中国电影.
57.you love chinese martial arts films. 你喜欢中国功夫片.（还行吧= =）
58.you've learnt some form of martial arts. 你会一些中国武术. （真的不会）
59.shaolin actually means something to you.少林对你来说是有点意义的 （什么啊= =）
60.you like congee with thousand-year-old eggs. 你喜欢很老的蛋配的粥. (皮蛋吧！)
61.you prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached. 你喜欢有头尾的虾. （当然了，新鲜嘛）
62.you never call your parents just to say hi. 你从不为了问声好而call你父母. (要是你打过电话去说
了声hi就把电话扣了，等着被骂吧= =||||||||)
63.if you don't live at home,when your parents call,they ask if you've eaten,even if it's midnight.如果你不在家, 你的父母会打电话问你吃了吗, 就算半夜12点也不例外. （我父母不会到那么晚还不睡的……）
64.when you're sick,your parents tell you not to eat fried foods or baked goods due to yeet hay. 当你病了的时候, 你父母要你不吃油炸食品和烤的东西, 因为"热气yeet hay"（上火）
65.you know what yeet hay is. 你知道什么是热气.（上火）
66.you e-mail your chinese friends at work,even though you only 10feet apart. 你上班时给你中国朋友send email, 即使你们相距10尺. （= =只有恶搞的时候才这么做）
67.you use a face cloth. 你敷面膜. （难道别家人不用面膜？？？）
翻译错了。。这个是擦脸毛巾。。
68.you starve yourself before going to all you can eat places. 你去吃自助餐前会把自己饿个半死. （=口=！！！完美地戳中了我的痛处……||||||||||||||）
69.you know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics. 你认识可以打折卖给你珠宝或电器的人. （虽然现在还不认识||||）
70.you save your old coke bottle glasses even though you're never going to use them again. 你留着用过的可乐瓶. （卖废品么？）
71.you own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it. 你有自己的切肉刀而且你会磨它. （有，但是自己磨…………囧好吧，现在已经很少有磨刀的了所以只好自己来）
72.your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin. 你的牙膏都挤到纸一样薄.（呃……现在经常在还没用完的时候就厌倦了这个味道打算换新的了）
73.you know what moon cakes are. 你知道什么是月饼. （废话）
74.when there is a sale on toilet paper,you buy 100rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adu[A HAHA ^BAIDU ]lt child who has moved out.当厕纸降价时, 你买了100多卷并囤在衣橱或别人的房间里. (…………………………………………100卷|||)
75.your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles. 不知道什么意思.（我也没看懂）
修：你父母知道怎么把鼻涕发射出去
76.you iron your own shirts. 你自己熨衣服. (大概外国都是送去洗衣店吧……）
77.you play a musical instrument.你会弹奏一种乐器. (……呃，口琴？竖笛？XD)
78.even if you're totally full,if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table,you'll finish them.即使你饱了, 当别人要把剩下的菜倒掉时你会一嘴把它吃完. (我不会= =|||||||||)
79.you've eaten a red bean popsicle.你吃过红豆冰棍. （嗯嗯）
80.you bring oranges (or other produce)with you as a gift when you visit people's homes. 你拜访别人
时会带着水果. （外国人送花？）
81.you fight over who pays the dinner bill.你在餐后抢着付帐单. （这……看跟谁一起了）
82.you majored in something practical like engineering,medicine or law. 你的主科是实用型的, 工程学, 机械学或法律.（谁说的，学MBA的少吗？）
83.you live with your parents and you are 30years old (and they prefer it that way).or if you're married and 30years old,you live in the apartment next door to your parents,or at least in the same neighborhood.你三十岁时还和父母住在一起并且他们也喜欢你这样. 或者你已经三十岁并且结婚了, 但你还住在父母隔壁或同个小区. （囧，家庭观念啊）
84.you don't tip more than 10%at a restaurant,and if you do,you tip chinese delivery guys/waiters more. 你不会给超过10%的小费, 即使有也是给中国服务员. (现在也不会这么抠了吧= =)
85.you have acquired a taste for bitter melon. 你爱好吃苦瓜. (嗯，苦瓜不错~~~~)
86.you eat every last grain of rice in your bowl,but don't eat the last piece of food on the table.你吃光碗里的最后一粒米, 但不吃盘里的最后一口菜.（还真有点意思）
87.you know why there are 88reasons. 你知道为什么这里有88条. （因为中国人喜欢8么？）
88.you see the truth in this and then send it to all your chinese friends. 你发觉这里说的都是真的, 所以你把它send 给你认识的所有中国朋友. （好狗血的一条…………）