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托福独立写作文章结构及论证方式(上)

托福独立写作文章结构及论证方式(上)
托福独立写作文章结构及论证方式(上)

托福独立写作文章结构及论证方式(上)

朗阁海外考试研究中心唐艳

托福独立写作部分的评分标准在OG中有着明确的要求,主要有三个方面:结构、论证和语言。本文中,朗阁海外考试研究中心的专家将具体来讲讲托福独立作文对于文章结构有什么样的要求。因为很多时候,有些学生觉得自己的文章写得不错,并且篇幅也足够长,究竟是什么原因导致得不到高分?原因很可能就出现在结构里。

什么叫文章的结构?也就是学生拿到作文题目之后,要怎么样安排整个文章的思路,包括开头段的主要观点是什么,主体部分要用几个分论点来支持开头的主要观点(progression),并且各个分论点之间的关系是什么(coherence),如何排列,最后得出的结论是否与开头段一致(unity)。这些问题就是具体化的文章结构的安排。

1. 何谓统一性?

下面朗阁海外考试研究中心的专家将用一个具体的例子来说明,在文章结构方面学生究竟出了什么问题呢?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Technology designed to make our life simpler actually makes our life more complicated.

拿到这个题目后,有学生这样安排了他的文章,也很好地展开了:

Introduction:agree

Reason 1:the development on the technology makes people oblivious to others

Reason2:it is convenient advancement on the technology that triggers poor air quality

Concession:partly agree

我们来看这样的文章在结构上有哪些问题?在开头段落,作者承认了题目陈述的问题:那些给我们生活简化的科技实际上是让我们的生活变得复杂了。接着作者从两个分论点来进行理由说明:技术的发展让人们在真实世界里漠视他人的存在(考生沿用的例子是网络技术发展)。第二个分论点是说技术的发展给我们的生活带来便利的同时让我们的空气质量变得糟糕了(使用的例子是谈及交通技术的发展)。从前面两个分论点中可以看出目前为止这篇文章的统一性还是不错的,但是在让步段落里,这个考生说部分同意,这显然是不符合独立作文统一性原则的,那么笔者给他做了以下修改:concession部分改成admittedly,complexity resulting from the betterment on the technologies sometimes attributes to human themselves. 这样的修改就很好地达到了统一性,因为我们还是承认科技给我们带来便利的同时是给我们带来复杂的这个主题。

2. 何谓渐进性?(progression)

渐进性是指文章各个分论点之间的关系不能重合,不能停留在同一个层面反复论证,笔者继续拿刚才的那道独立写作题目分析,一个学生是如下这么写的。

Introduction:agree

Reason 1:the development on the technology tends to make people oblivious to others (telecommunication technology)

Reason2:it is convenient advancement on the technology that impels people to be suspicious to each other frequently (internet,mobile phone)

Concession:complexity resulting from the betterment on the technologies sometimes attributes to human themselves.

相信大家看出来了:主题段落1和2虽然分论点表达的意思不一样,但是用的实例论证都是指的同一个对象,即网络技术的发展造成了人们的生活复杂,也就是这个学生是停留在一个层面在进行反复论证。

3. 何谓连贯性?

主体段各分论点的列举和排列都必须支持文章的主要观点。

在这个概念的理解上,笔者给大家展示一个在批改学生作业中的一个段落书写:

从旁边的这个批注里可以看出:表面上来看,作者在题目中的关键词:books,internet,films都提到了,我们却找不到与中心论点的关键词cultures相关的信息:比如rituals,customs,ways of dressing ,ways of cooking,gourmet in exotic areas ,arts,…。。.也就是说这个段落没有在主体段各分论点的列举和排列中都支持文章的主要观点。

与之形成对比的,大家可以再看另外一个学生书写的段落:

这个段落写得是“广告并不能在指导消费者的使用上起到作用”——这个作者先是用了一个数字论证了一个事实:广告不能改变人们爱看说明书的这个习惯,而后又讲了多数广告只是浅显的说明产品的规格和外形,而怎么安装相关的软件还是需要消费者仔细看说明书的。也就是说这个学生在这个段落的书写上很好的处理了段落的连贯性:主体段各分论点的列举和排列都必须支持文章的主要观点。

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托福独立写作满分范文30篇

托福写作辅导:托福考试满分作文欣赏(1) Which one do you prefer, to solve problems on your own experience and knowledge, or to ask others for advice? As knowledge and experience serve as twim towers in problem-solving, one is often presented with two major paths that pave the way for final fulfillment, eitther to wrack his brain, just like what happened to Neuton, siiting for many years under an apple tree and eventually figuring out ond of the greatest universal rules that govern the whole globe, or to seek for others ’ widsom through their advice, just as in the case of Benjinin Franklin, gathering great minds under one roof and then establishing a most world-renown libray. Both ways work. When a practical goal is involved, however, Benjimin Franklin may best be regareded as a role model in this respect and asking people for advice often turn out to be the prime alternative. Experience and knowledge borrowed or learned from others’ advice contribute greatly to effectiveness and effeciency for a goal-accomplishment. Not all experience and knowledge related to problem-solving can be obtained by personal effort alone due to limitations of mind and capabilities of each individual. A single thought in someone’s mind is, more often than not, far less shining compared with group ’s wisdom. That explains the famous old saying that one sees further when standing upon the shoulders’ of past great giants; that explains why a great leader is always with greater minds; that also explains why teamwork in corperation is highly emphasized in the 21st century. Brainstorm and exchange of ideas between different thoughts never fail to enhance capabilities of each individula involved, a team, a company, an institution, a country, or even the entire global village. Asking others’ advice instead of getting everything done on one’s own promotes democracy and communication too. In terms of democracy, it is necessary to give others rights and chances to speak since the problem may concern them in different ways, and their saying in turn reflects our respect toward freedom of speech as well as their wisdom. In terms of communication, idea exchange sometimes focuses more than solutions, and hereby better mutual understanding about perspectives, principles, praticalities and personalities of each other. Admittely turning to others for help and suggestion by no means refers to absolute and irresponsible dependence. Consideration upon different thoughts and ideas broadens our mind, enlarges our vision, furthers understanding, enhances more effective and efficient brainstorm, and stresses mutual respect in groups and communities, which undoubtedly gives rise to better, if not the best solutions. As is paraphrasedfrom John F Kenedy, brainstormed, there is little we cannot do while divided, there is little we can do. 托福写作辅导:托福考试满分作文欣赏(2) Case of Benjinin Franklin, gathering great minds under one roof and then establishing a most world-renown libray. Both ways work. When a practical goal is involved, however, Benjimin Franklin may best be regareded as a role model in this respect and asking people for advice often turn out to be the prime alternative. Experience and knowledge borrowed or learned from others' advice contribute greatly

英语写作经典段落结构(雅思托福都适用)Five Paragraph Essay Structure

Five Paragraph Essay Structure The five-paragraph essay is the commonest and most basic form of academic essay used in English and American high schools. Below you will find a map of the essay structure, and we will be using this structure in all of our argumentative and persuasive essays. Introduction (3-4 sentences) 1.Hook – Attracts the readers attention and introduces the main idea 2.Bridge – Develops the topic enough to explain the thesis statement 3.Thesis Statement – Introduces the topic and controlling ideas of the essay Main body Paragraph 1 (5 sentences) 1.Topic sentence – Introduces the topic and controlling idea for this paragraph (this controlling idea should be linked to the thesis statement) 2.Development – The topic should be expanded and more information introduced (5W1H) 3.Evidence – An example/fact should be used to prove your opinion 4.Development – Further develop the fact and show how it proves your point 5.Concluding sentence – Pulls together and summarises main point from topic sentence and paragraph Main body Paragraph 2 (5 sentences) 1.Topic sentence – Introduces the topic and controlling idea for this paragraph (this controlling idea should be linked to the thesis statement) 2.Development – The topic should be expanded and more information introduced (5W1H) 3.Evidence – An example/fact should be used to prove your opinion 4.Development – Further develop the fact and show how it proves your point 5.Concluding sentence – Pulls together and summarises main point from topic sentence and paragraph Counter Argument (4-5 sentences) 1.Counter argument –Introduces opposition’s strongest argument 2.Refutation – Explain why that argument is not valid or appropriate 3.Example – Use an example to support your refutation 4.Development (optional) - Further develop the fact and show how it proves your point 5.Concluding sentence - Pulls together and summarises main point from refutation Conclusion 1.Restate thesis – Restate the main topic and controlling idea from the thesis statement (paraphrased) 2.Summary – Summarise the main points from the article to support your opinion 3.Conclusion – Create a new idea/thinking point based on the points raised in the article

托福作文写作论据例子

1.Should teacher help with self-confident or specific knowledge? My opinion: 1. Confident would play high effect on give rise to motivation of study. 2 Student would have positive impress on study for extended study life 3 Self-confident could promote ability of student, innovation is needed. Disagree; 1 Specific knowledge definitely during period of education will enrich their time 2 Specific knowledge is the strength of evidence where self-confident emerges. 3 specific knowledge will be the goal for education on purpose. 2 achieving success or having delight and optimistic mood, which is more important? My opinion: 1 Success would contribute you own self-confident for the motivation of next challenge. 2 Success would help you get reward and celebrity, which may encourage you. 3 Success is the summary of your hard working, of which would imprint experience for your whole life. Disagree: 1. Optimistic mood would be continuous and prolonged for dream of success. 2 Optimistic reveals one’s healthy psychology for perfect life 3 Optimistic would be used in other field other than success. 3 People with different personalities and amateur can’t be friend: My opinion: 1 different disagreement may led to unfriendly friendship. 2 It’s hard to find common topic as combination of both people. 3 they are unlikely to know each other very well in short time. Disagree: 1. They would study other different type of advantage filling space 2 Finding more different topic will strengthen friendship. 3 open up their view and accumulate more knowledge 4 competition may hurt friendship My opinion: 1 Competition may increase possibility that you friend is jealous of others 2 Competition may reduce the communication chances hence have less meaningful friendship bit by bit Disagree: 1 It factually might let you know each other better

托福写作评分标准

托福写作评分标准公司内部编号:(GOOD-TMMT-MMUT-UUPTY-UUYY-DTTI-

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综合写作是托福写作板块中的其中一项。托福考试的写作部分分为综合(Integrated writing)和独立(Independent writing)两块,这两块分别独立评分,取平均值后得到最终的分数。也就是说,这两个部分各占一半权重,因此应给予相同程度的重视。关于这两部分的了解,强烈建议同学们自己去看看ETS出版的托福考试官方指南(OG),OG里面对于考试形式和评分标准有非常详尽的介绍,有些同学在准备输出端考试(写作或者口语)的时候,居然连评分细则都不看,仅凭自己的主观臆测和对于老师讲解的依稀记忆去打造自己的文章,考不好真的不奇怪。下面,我们就来分析一下托福考试的评分细则。 综合写作的满分要求是: A response at this level successfully selects the important information from the lectu 5分:文章切题,阐说充分,文章有说服力;段落组织有序,衔接紧密,过渡自然,有很强的逻辑性;段落内句与句连接顺畅,句式使用恰当,灵活,娴熟;用词确切,得体。文章中有个别语法拼写错误,但不影响内容表达。 4分:文章切题,阐说基本充分,在某些细节上有缺陷。段落层次组织有序,衔接紧密,过渡自然,逻辑性强;句间连接顺畅,句式使用恰当,灵活;用词基本得体。文章中有少量用词不当和语法拼写错误。 3分:文章切题,阐说尚可,展开不够。段落层次组织有序,衔接紧密,过渡自然,有逻辑性;句间连接基本顺畅;有部分句法错误;用词一般,有时不得体。词性区分和拼写等有若干错误

托福独立写作中间段2种常用写法优劣势对比分析

托福独立写作中间段2种常用写法优 劣势对比分析 托福独立写作中间段一般大家都会写3段,也就是围绕主要观点树立三个分论点来分别展开。今天和大家分享托福独立写作中间段2种常用写法优劣势对比分析,希望能帮助到大家,来欣赏一下吧。 托福独立写作中间段2种常用写法优劣势对比分析 托福独立写作主体段如何丰富结构? 托福考生经常会有疑惑的问题就是:我的三个主体段全部都是讲故事,好像手法太单一了,会不会被扣分?如何丰富?答案是:有可能;以及,偶尔的使用纯解释型段落。众所周知,TOEFL写作中展开手法有两种,exemplification和explanation。例证显然是二者中更简单的一个。因此,大部分同学都更倾向于使用例证。因为它更容易快速上手,并且大家可以通过举例来展开具体化的细节,从而获得高分。但注意,如果三个主体段全部是讲故事展开,未免会有语言太差的嫌疑。因此,除了例证,我们*中最好可以稍微涉及到一些说理部分。 举例和说理写法各自优势讲解

例证的优势即为能够更轻松的展开出有效并具体化的细节,或俗称“好凑字”。解释的好处为语言简练,表达效率高,*的递进性、节奏会更紧凑。这两种论证方式都有各自的明显优势,考生在选择写法时也需要结合自身需求(比如提升*篇幅用举例,增强说服力用说理)。 举例和说理写法弱点对比分析 例证在TOEFL写作中并无太明显的劣势。解释的劣势就比较明显了。同样的一个分论点,有的同学用例证可以很轻松写到200字,而解释只能说到100字。有的同学可能有个刻板印象:讲故事的语言通常比较简单,句式单一,因此不容易得高分。注意,讲故事语言和句式也是可以复杂的;或者大家可以选择简单但地道的表达,可同样可以获得满分。 托福独立写作中如何选择不同写法? 因此我们以后考场上的答题战略很简单。第一段为例证段落。目的为使劲凑字,尽量直接写满200字。第二、三段可以选择简短的小故事或者解释性段落,分别写到60~100字左右。这样主体段已经达到至少320字,再加上开头结尾段,可以轻松满足350字的字数要求。 托福独立写作说理explanation写法怎么练?

托福写作的评分标准

托福写作的评分标准 The TOEFL test uses automated scoring to complement human scoring for the two tasks in the Writing section. Combining human judgment for content and meaning, and automated scoring for linguistic features, ensures consistent, quality scores. 由此可见,TOEFL的综合写作以及独立写作评分同时使用机器自动评分和人工评分,其中,人工评分看的是文章的内容和意义,而机器 评分看的是文章的语言特征。之所以采取两种评分方式,是为了保证 评分的一致性和质量。 那么我们来看看辛勤劳作的机器是怎么工作的吧: (一)审查语言特征 从ETS官网的描述中能够看出托福写作会有机器专门来看文章的 语言,而机器看语言跟人工看语言是有区别的。人在看文章语言的时 候多半还是以印象为主,而不会去细致数每一个单词,也不会去计算 文章有多少个句子。但如果是机器评分,机器能够更精确地计算出文 本中的语言特征。来看看ETS官网对机器评分具体会看的语言特征的 描述: The e-rater engine predicts essay scores based on features related to writing quality, including: errors in grammar (e.g., subject-verb agreement) usage (e.g., preposition selection) mechanics (e.g., capitalization) style (e.g., repetitious word use) discourse structure (e.g., presence of a thesis statement, main points)

托福独立写作范文解析2020

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主体段2:发现需要帮助的能力不重要,因为学生自己会来找 主体段3:课外自学不重要,高中生没有课外时间 The ability to help student with planning their future is definitely the most important capability for high school teachers. To begin with, high school students are in desperate need for guidance about their future, and teachers are the only competent candidate to provide it. I know this from my personal experience. When I was in high school, a great portion of my classmates’ only goal is to reach for the minimum requirement for graduation, and to be able to get an offer from a middle-ranged college in the US, as all 15-year-old boys are profoundly addicted to either computer games or love affairs. Because of our immature mind, we had no idea regarding the choice of universities, or the selection of a future career path. What made matters worse is that our high school teachers provided us with virtually zero guidance concerning our college applications, not because they lack of the intention, but simply because they know nothing about it. Consequently, the vast majority of our parents had to hire an outside agency that specializes in the college application process which costs tons of money. Later we realized that this is an utter mistake, for what they

托福写作模板 integrated writing(亲测 ..写作25)

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