英语幽默笑话带翻译
1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor,
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
医生懂得多
一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."
2:You can't go without me
The bus is very crowded. A man tries to get on, but no one gives way to him.
"Hey, let me get on the bus." the man shouts.
"It's too crowded. You'd better take the next bus." a passenger says to him.
"But you can't go without me. I'm the driver." the man says.
没有我你们走不了
公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路. "喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道.
"车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说.
"但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.
3:Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸，”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”
4:Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。
5:Dear white, something you got to know .When I was born, I was black. When I grow up, I am black. When I'm under the sun, I'm black. When I'm cold, I'm black. When I'm afraid, I'm black. When I'm sick, I'm black. When I die, I'm still black. you---white people, When you were born, you were pink. When you grow up, you become white. You're red under the sun. You're blue when you're cold. You are yellow when you're afraid. You're green when you're sick. You're gray when you die. And you, call me "color"?
亲爱的白种人，有几件事你必须知道。当我出生时，我是黑色的我长大了，我是黑色的我在阳光下，我是黑色的我寒冷时，我是黑色的我害怕时，我是黑色的我生病了，我是黑色的当我死了，我仍是黑色的。你---白种人，当你出生时，你是粉红色的。你长大了，变成白色的。你在阳光下，你是红色的。你寒冷时，你是青色的。你害怕时，你是黄色的。你生病时，你是绿色的。当你死时，你是灰色的。而你，却叫我「有色人种」？
6：Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”
“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”
哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”7：How Many Rabbits?
Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have?
Jonathan: Nine, sir.
Teacher: Nine?
Jonathan: I've got one already, sir.
多少只兔子？
老师：好，乔纳森，假如我给你三只兔子，第二天我又给你五只，你一共有多少只兔子？
乔纳森：一共有九只，先生。
老师：九只？
乔纳森：先生，我本来就有一只。
8：These Are My Jeans
After going on a diet，a woman felt really good about
herself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago．
“Look，look．” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband．“I can wear my old jeans again．”
Her husband looked at her for a long time，when said，“Honey，I love you，but these are my jeans．”
那是我的裤子!
一个妇女在减肥一段时间后自我感觉特别好——特别是当她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔裤时。她跑下楼冲她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。我又能穿上以前的裤子了。”她丈夫看了她好一会儿，然后说：“亲爱的，我爱你。但那是我的裤子。”
9：The mean man's party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5th floor, find the door in the middle and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door is open, push it with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
吝啬鬼请客
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”
“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”
“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。
10：All I do is pay
"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary." "Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your position?"
"I'm the people. All I do is pay."
我要做的一切就是付钱
布朗先生告诉同事说：“我的家简直就象一个国家一样。我妻子是财政部长。我岳母是作战部长，我女儿是外交秘书。”
“听上去挺有意思的，”他的同事说，“那你的职务是什么呢？”“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付钱。”
1.猫和老鼠 ——Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top. ——" What's in your box?" asked the friend. ——"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them." ——"But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend. ——"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown. 布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。“盒子里装的是什么？”朋友问道。“一只小猫，”布朗夫人回答说，“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠，我非常害怕。这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友说。“小猫也是假想的。”布朗夫人小声说道。 2.Reached Shore Fast 快速靠岸 A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to
英语小短文带翻译100字20篇 1.A happy Day It was sunny and very hot today. I got up early and helped my parents cook breakfast. Then I washed the dishes and cleaned the room. After a short rest I did my homework in the morning. In the afternoon I went swimming in the nearest swimming pool with my friends. It was really cool to swim in such a hot day. I surfed the internet and read a storybook in the evening. I really had a busy and happy day. 今天天气晴朗比较热。我起得很早，帮父母做早饭。然后我洗碗打扫屋子。休息一会后我上午做作业。下午我和朋友去我家最近的游泳池游泳。在如此炎热的夏天游泳的确很棒。晚上我上网、看故事书。我今天很忙过得很快乐。 2.给笔友的一封信 Dear Lucy I am very glad to hear from you. Now let me introduce myself to you. My name is Li Lei. I am eleven years old. I am tall with a pair of glasses. Now I am studying at Yuying Primary School. I am in Class One，Grade 5. I like singing and playing the piano very much. I am good at English and Chinese. 很高兴收到你的来信。现在让我介绍我自己。我叫李雷。11岁。我高个子、带眼镜。我在育英小学。我在五年级一班。我非常喜欢唱歌和弹钢琴。我数学和语文学得都很好。 3。暑假打算 I will have a busy summer vacation. I am going to do my homework every day . I am going to the library to borrow some books and go to the shops to buy some books.I am going to do sports such as playing table tennis, swimming and so on. I am going to visit my grandparents and stay there for a week. I am going to help my parents do some housework. 我暑假会很忙。我每天要写作业。我打算去图书馆去借书、去商店买书。我要做运动，如：打乒乓球、游泳等。我要去看爷爷奶奶并在那住一周。我要帮父母做家务。 4.自我介绍 Hello, everyone. My name is Kelly. I am friendly and honest.I am good at English and maths. I like surfing the internet,playing computer games, watching TV and traveling. I also like playing table tennis and I am good at it ,too. I often play table tennis with my friends on weekends. And I want to be a famous table tennis player when I grow up. What I like most is to see the seagulls flying freely in the sky so I often go to the sea in summer. My favourite colour is white because I think white is symbolize purity. 大家好我的名字叫KELLY .我很友好、诚实。我擅长英语和数学。我爱上网、玩电脑网络游戏、看电视和旅游。我也喜欢打乒乓球。我经常和朋友们在周末打乒乓球，长大了我想当一个乒乓球运动员。最喜欢在海边看着海鸥自由自在的飞翔，因此在夏天我经常去海边。白色是我的最爱。因为我觉得白色是纯洁的象征。 5.A nice Sunday It is Sunday and it is a fine day today. We come to the People Park with our English teacher who came from Canada. Look ! Tom and other five boys are playing
英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译) 线话英语|2016-03-14 17:03:05 英语幽默小故事10篇(带翻译)如下： Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE". 中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。 Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I’m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys." "Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
英语幽默笑话带翻译 1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 医生懂得多 一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:" 我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动 着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多." 2:You can't go without me The bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. "Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts. "It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him. "But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says. 没有我你们走不了 公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路. "喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道. "车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说. "但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道. 3:Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!" 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年 龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了
高中英语励志小故事带翻译 在高中学习生活中，我们每隔一段时间可能会感觉枯燥乏味，对生 活对学习失去了兴趣，那幺我们就需一些方法让自己重拾信心，那幺有什幺 方法能让我们在学习中找到乐趣，从学习中找到生活的方向呢，小编的建议 是可以看一些英语励志的小故事，那样既能提高我们的英语水平，还能鼓励 我们继续前进，以下是小编整理的英语励志小故事！ 高中英语励志小故事（一）AyoungmanaskedSocratesthesecrettosuccess.Socratestoldtheyoungmantomeethimn eartheriverthenextmorning.Theymet.Socratesaskedtheyoungmantowalkwithhimtow ardtheriver.Whenthewatergotuptotheirneck,Socratestooktheyoungmanbysurprisean dduckedhimintothewater.TheboystruggledtogetoutbutSocrateswasstrongandkepthi mthereuntiltheboystartedturningblue.Socratespulledhisheadoutofthewaterandthefirs tthingtheyoungmandidwastogaspandtakeadeepbreathofair.Socratesasked,“Whatdid youwantthemostwhenyouwerethere?”Theboyreplied,“Air.”Socratessaid,“Thatisthes ecrettosuccess.Whenyouwantsuccessasbadlyasyouwantedtheair,thenyouwillgetit.Th ereisnoothersecret.”一个年轻人向苏格拉底询问成功的秘诀，苏格拉底让年轻 人第二天早晨到河边见他。他们见面后，苏格拉底叫年轻人和他一起走向河 里，当河水淹至他们的脖子时，苏格拉底出其不意地抓住年轻人并把其压入 水中，那人想要挣出水面，而强壮有力的苏格拉底将他摁在水中直到他变得 无力抗争，脸色发青。苏格拉底将他的头拖出水面，这个年轻人所做的第一 件事就是大口喘息后，深吸一口气。苏格拉底问：“当你闷在水里的时候你最 想要的是什幺？”年轻人回答说：“空气。”苏格拉底说：“那就是成功的秘诀。 当你像渴望空气一样渴望成功，你就能够获得它！没有其他的秘密了。”高中
1 I Don’t Like Her Bob goes to a new school. One day he comes back, “Bob, do you like your new teacher?” his mothe “I don’t like her, Mother. Because first she says that three and three is six, and then she says that two and four is six, too.” 我不喜欢她 鲍勃的去了所新学校。 一天，他回到家，他妈妈问他：“你喜欢你的新老师吗？” “不，我不喜欢她，妈妈。因为她先说3加3等于6，然后她又说2加4等 于6.” 2 Ten Candies Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?” “Ten.” Jim says. “Ten？” Mother asks. Yes, Mum. Four candies are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn’t it right?” 十块糖 妈妈问儿子：“吉姆，如果你有10块糖，吃了4块，那你还有几块糖？” “10块。”吉姆说。
“10块？”妈妈问。 “是的，妈妈。因为4块在我的肚子里面，6块在肚子外面，4加6等于10， 不对吗？” 3 Where is the egg? Teacher: Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"? Student: Yes. I ate a piece of cake yesterday. Teacher: Then where is the “egg"? Student: In the cake, sir. 鸡蛋在哪里？ 老师：你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗？ 学生：可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。 老师：“鸡蛋”在哪？ 学生：在蛋糕里，先生 4 Count Tomorrow Morning night. John is looking at the sky. It’s a Tom is John’s younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?”John says, “I’m counting stars.” really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow Tom laughs and says, “It’s morning?” 明天早上数
少儿英语小故事带翻译 故事一般都和原始人类的生产生活有密切关系，他们迫切地希望认识自然，于是便以自身为依据，想象天地万物都和人一样，有着生命和意志。以下是为您整理的《少儿英语小故事带翻译》，希望大家能够喜欢。 少儿英语小故事带翻译篇一 The Ugly Duckling IT was lovely summer weather in the country, and the golden corn, the green oats, and the haystacks piled up in the meadows looked beautiful. The stork walking about on his long red legs chattered in the Egyptian language, which he had learnt from his mother. The corn-fields and meadows were surrounded by large forests, in the midst of which were deep pools. It was, indeed, delightful to walk about in the country. In a sunny spot stood a pleasant old farm-house close by a deep river, and from the house down to the water side grew great burdock leaves, so high, that under the tallest of them a little child could stand upright. The spot was as wild as the centre of a thick wood. In this snug retreat sat a duck on her nest, watching for her young brood to hatch; she was beginning to get tired of her task, for the little ones were a long time coming out of their shells, and she seldom had any visitors. The other ducks liked much better to swim about in the river than to climb the slippery banks, and sit under a burdock leaf, to have a gossip with her. At length one shell cracked, and then another, and from each egg came a living creature that lifted its head and cried, “;Peep, peep.”; “;Quack, quack,”; said the mother, and then they all quacked as well as they could, and looked about them on every side at the large green leaves. Their mother allowed them to look as much as they liked, because green is good for the eyes. “;How large the world is,”; said the young ducks, when
关于英语小笑话简单爆笑 篇一：爆笑的经典英语小笑话 爆笑的经典英语小笑话 英语笑话（一） 老师在黑板上写了一句： Time is money.并让同学们翻译。 有名学生答道： “汤姆是玛丽。 ” 小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明又坐了下来。 他旁边的同学于是忍不住问： 你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？ 小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！ 英语笑话（二） 某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am hongtao liu，外宾曰：我 TM 还是方片七呢！ 英语笑话（三） 江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马 屁道："Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful." 翻译照翻，江青心花怒 放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪 里，哪里”。 翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："Where? Where?" 外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追 问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："Everywhere, everywhere." 翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得”。翻 译赶紧翻成英文："You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see." 英语笑话（四） 话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。 A 神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。A 高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大 拇指道：「I AM 后羿！」 B 神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM 丘比特！」 轮到 C 了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！ 结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一 句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」 英语笑话（五） 某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞， 忙说：I am sorry. 老外应道：I am sorry too. 某人听后又道：I am sorry three. 老外不解，问：What are you sorry for? 某人无奈，道：I am sorry five. 英语笑话（六）
2上帝那里没有现成的果实 三个人千辛万苦找到了上帝，请求他给予帮助。上帝问他们各需要什么。第一个人说他要一座大宅院；第二个人说，他要一个农庄；第三个人说他要一块大金条。上帝说他可以满足他们的需要。于是上帝给了第一个人一堆砖头，给了第二个人一把种子，给了第三个人一把沙子。 No Ready-made Fruit in God’s Hand Three guys finally got the God through trials and errors. They were eager to ask God for help. Right after the God asked what they want, the first man claim a big courtyard, the second a farmstead, and the third a bar of gold. God promised them. At last, the first man was given a pile of bricks, the second a bag of seed and the third a mass of sand. 3虫子的压力 有这么一种虫子，它的体长还不到一毫米，也许因为在电子显微镜下看起来像一头黑熊，所以人们叫它雄虫。它主要生活在淡水的沉渣，潮湿土壤以及苔藓植物的水膜中。最近日本冈山大学物理学家小野文久发现了一个惊人的现象：当20只小熊虫被放入密封的容器内，在实验室制造的7.5万个大气压下，20只熊虫只有两只死亡，其余的18只安然无恙。7.5万个大气压！它相当于每平方豪米要承受700多千克重物的压力，它足以上淀粉瞬间变性，生米顷刻为熟饭。自然条件下，地球上也只有180千米的地幔深处才拥有如此大的压力。 至今没有人能弄清楚熊虫为何如此能忍。不只是出于对这种超强生命力的尊重还是怀疑，有人叫它地狱之虫。一个长度不超过1毫米的微不足道的虫子，能承受命运给他如此的压力，相比较而言，我们这些自称是高级动物，智慧生命，万物之灵的人呢？在人的现实生活中，有多少小小的心结，小小的压力构成我们所谓的生存压力。在这样的压力下又有多少悲观失落之人将美好的人生称作地狱？现在一比才觉得，其实我们的压力就好比是真空，我饿美女的地狱就是天堂中的天堂。在那一刻，我在心里默默地鞠了一躬，不是为熊虫，而是感谢造物主没有把这样的压力降在人间。 W orm’s Pressure This is a worm whose body is no less than one millimeter. It is called 熊虫(XC) perhaps for the reason that it looks like a black bear under the microscop. The XC usually habited in the slurry of fresh water, wet soil and the 水膜of moss plants. Recently, there was an amazing news discovered by 日本冈山大学物理学家小野文久: when 20 little XC were placed in a sealed container under the 7.5 万个大气压making in experiment condition, there were only two died and the other 18 have no trouble at all. 7.5 万个大气压, equal to over 700 kilogram stress per square meter, which is powerful enough to它足以上淀粉瞬间变性and the rice ready to eat. In natural condition, this pressure can only be found in the 地幔beneath the earth 180 kilogram. Till now, nobody have an idea about the tolerance of XC. Someone also call it worm of hell out of admiration or suspicion. A worm, with its length less than one
英语幽默笑话故事带翻译 篇一：英语短文笑话(带翻译) 1、How much English can you speak? "Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English." The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?" The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!" 中文翻译 "法官先生，我的当事人被指控偷窃，这是多么不公正啊。他一周前才来到纽约，几乎不认路。而且，他只会说几个英语单词。" 法官看了看被告，问道："你会说多少英文？" 被告抬起头，说："把你的钱包给我！" 2 A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day, whereas women use 30000 words a day. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. He said, "What?" 丈夫给妻子看了一项调查结果，为了向她证明女人比男人啰嗦。研究表明男人平均每天使用15000个字，而女人每天使用30000个。 妻子想了一会儿说，女人每天说的字数是男人的两倍，因为她们必须重复已经说过的话。他问："什么？" 3 Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩：这个座位是空的么？ 女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。 4、 "Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying." "Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any." "But has he finished his own cake?" "Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that." "汤姆，你弟弟怎么了？" 妈妈在厨房里问。"他在哭。" "没事儿，妈妈，" 汤姆答道。"我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因为我不给他吃。" "他已经吃完自己的了么？" "是的。" "我帮他吃完时，他也哭了。"
英语幽默小笑话六篇 frog 青蛙 Frog The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, "Now I'll show you this frog in my pocket." He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, "That's funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch." 老师正在给学生上生物课：“现在，我将要给你们看我袋子里的这只青蛙。”接着，他把手伸进口袋，却拿出了一份鸡肉三文治。老师满脸困惑地看了一眼，沉思了一会儿，说道：“真奇怪。我明明记得我已经把午饭吃掉了。” 人们什么时候说话最少？ Teacher: What is the plural of man,Tom? 老师: 汤姆，“男人”这个词的复数形式是什么? Tom: Men. 汤姆:男人们。 Teacher: Good. And the plural of child? 老师: 答得好。那“孩子”的复数形式呢? Tom : Twins. 汤姆: 双胞胎。 谁欠谁钱 A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for a consultation. 律师的狗，没有拴而到处闲逛，它来到一家肉店，偷走了一块烤肉。店主来到律师的办公室，问道“如果一条没栓的狗从我的商店里偷了块肉，我有权利从狗的主人那里要回损失吗？律师答道：“完全可以”，“那你欠我8.50美元，你的狗没栓而且今天从我的店里头了块肉”，律师什么都没说，马上给他写了一张支票。一些天后，店主打开邮箱，发现一封来自律师的信，信上写道：咨询费250美元。I Have His Ear in My Pocket I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
短篇励志英语美文摘抄带翻译【三篇】 导读：本文短篇励志英语美文摘抄带翻译【三篇】，仅供参考，如果觉得很不错，欢迎点评和分享。 短篇励志英语美文：A Better Tomorrow People often wonder why historians go to so much trouble to preserve millions of books, documents and records. Why do we have libraries? What good are these documents and history books? Why do we record and save the actions of men, the negotiations1 of government officials and the events during wars? We do it because, sometimes, the voice of experience can cause us to stop, look and listen. Sometimes, past records, when understood in the right way, can help us decide what to do and what not to do. If we are ever to create lasting peace, we must seek its origins in human experience and in the records of human history. From the stories of courage and devotion of men and women, we create the inspirations of youth. History records the suffering, the self-denial2, the devotion, and the heroic deeds of people in the past. These records can help us when we are confused and when we really need peace.
英语小故事,带翻译.txt你不能让所有人满意，因为不是所有的人都是人成功人士是—在牛B 的路上，一路勃起你以为我会眼睁睁看着你去送死吗？我会闭上眼睛的中秋节来历（英文版）The joyous Mid-Autumn Festival was celebrated on the fifteenth day of the eighth moon, around the time of the autumn equinox(秋分). Many referred to it simply as the "Fifteenth of the Eighth Moon". 农历8月15日是中国的中秋节，接近秋分时节。很多人将中秋节简单的理解为与“8月15的月亮”相关。 This day was also considered as a harvest festival since fruits, vegetables and grain had been harvested by this time and food was abundant. Food offerings were placed on an altar set up in the courtyard. Apples, pears, peaches, grapes, pomegranates(石榴), melons, oranges and pomelos(柚子) might be seen. Special foods for the festival included moon cakes, cooked taro(芋头)and water caltrope(菱角), a type of water chestnut resembling black buffalo horns. Some people insisted that cooked taro be included because at the time of creation, taro was the first food discovered at night in the moonlight. Of all these foods, it could not be omitted from the Mid-Autumn Festival. The round moon cakes, measuring about three inches in diameter and one and a half inches in thickness, resembled Western fruitcakes in taste and consistency. These cakes were made with melon seeds(西瓜子), lotus seeds(莲籽), almonds(杏仁), minced meats, bean paste, orange peels and lard(猪油). A golden yolk(蛋黄) from a salted duck egg was placed at the center of each cake, and the golden brown crust was decorated with symbols of the festival. Traditionally, thirteen moon cakes were piled in a pyramid to symbolize the thirteen moons of a "complete year," that is, twelve moons plus one intercalary(闰月的) moon. uUlsda E The Mid-Autumn Festival is a traditional festivity for both the Han and minority nationalities. The custom of worshipping the moon can be traced back as far as the ancient Xia and Shang Dynasties (2000 B.C.-1066 B.C.). In the Zhou Dynasty(1066 B.C.-221 B.C.), people hold ceremonies to greet winter and worship the moon whenever the Mid-Autumn Festival sets in. It becomes very prevalent in the Tang Dynasty(618-907 A.D.) that people enjoy and worship the full moon. In the Southern Song Dynasty (1127-1279 A.D.), however, people send round moon cakes to their relatives as gifts in expression of their best wishes of family reunion. When it becomes dark, they look up at the full silver moon or go sightseeing on lakes to celebrate the festival. Since the Ming (1368-1644 A.D. ) and Qing Dynasties (1644-1911A.D.), the custom of Mid-Autumn Festival celebration becomes unprecedented popular. Together with the celebration there appear some special customs in different parts of the country, such as burning incense(熏香), planting Mid-Autumn trees, lighting lanterns on towers and fire dragon dances. However, the custom of playing under the moon is not so popular as it used to be nowadays, but it is not less popular to enjoy the bright silver moon. Whenever the festival sets in, people will look up at the full silver moon, drinking wine to celebrate their happy life or thinking of their relatives and friends far from home, and extending all of their best wishes to them. Moon Cakes月饼