老外一句话笑话
题: 【转】老外最精彩一句话笑话(附中文整理版)
发信站: 北邮人论坛 (Thu Dec 3 23:41:17 2009), 站内
1、I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So
I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
开始我直接求帝哥赐辆自行车。后来我琢磨帝哥办事儿不是这个路数。于是老子偷了一辆
然后求帝哥宽恕。
2、I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
我希望能像爷爷那样，安静地在睡梦中死去…… 而不是要像他开的车上那些惨叫滴乘客一样
死法啊～
3、Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
你永远不能战胜一个纯傻逼,因为他会把你的智商拉到跟他个水平,然后用丰富的经验打败你
4、The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list. 吾虽不杀伯仁，伯仁由我而死。/我真不想伤害你，但你也别逼我。/在这个世界上,我最不愿
意做的事就是伤害你,但是这件事仍在我的考虑之列.
5、If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...
如觉嘿咻乃屁眼不能承受之痛，那是你操错洞... /若XXOO。是下体的痛。那么。是你操错。
6、The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 早起滴小鸟有虫虫～～～～～～晚到的老鼠有奶酪～～～～～ /早起的鸟儿有虫吃，早起的虫儿被鸟吃。
7、We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police. 在咱们这噶哒送外卖的都比警察来的快.
8、Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
XXOO=打桥牌。如果对手不好使，自己的手必须好使
9、Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
有些人就像 Slinkies (弹簧玩具)，没什么实在用处，但看他们倒腾来捣腾去还是很有喜感。
10、Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
政客和纸尿布有一个共同点就是:他们都很有规律的更替，而且是为了同一个无比肮脏的理
由～～
11、War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
战争不能决出正义，但能判出哪方出局。 / 暴力不能解决任何问题，但至少可以解决你。
12、Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. 女人的高潮可能是装出来的。但是男人TMD可以整段感情都是装出来的～/女人假装高潮以获
取真实的感情;男人假装感情以获取真实的高潮。
13、We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. 我们永远不可能真正的成熟，我们
14、Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
男人就两种状态:饿，性饥渴。要是他不硬，就给他来俩面包夹香肠～
15、Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
光总是比声音跑的快点....这就是为嘛有些SB只有在开口说话之后你才发现他是在装B...
16、My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch. 我妈每次对着我骂草泥马的时候都是那么的坦荡。
17、I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks. 小姐啊，你干这么半天不揍是为了钱么。(曾以为我在卖艺，原来我是在卖身。)
18、If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments. 你要是觉得没人在乎你的死活,那你不妨尝试一下跟你的债主玩躲猫猫~~
19、Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. XXOO并不是结论而是个问题...爽不爽才是答案...
20、Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
晚间新闻总是先向你问好，再告诉你好个毛～
21、How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
一根火柴能点着整片大兴安岭，一盒火柴也生不起个营火，这咋回事～～～～～～～～～(想当年哥戴
套都能让人怀孕，看今朝叔竟然去看男科……哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈)
22、If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it? 如果4/5的人认为腹泻十分痛苦，那剩下1/5咋回事,,～～～很享受哈,,～～
23、Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting
it in a fruit salad.
知识就是告诉你说应该把鸡蛋放进篮子，智慧则是叫你不要把所有鸡蛋都放进一个篮子。/
所谓知识就是知道韩少和小四都属于80后，但智慧告诉你这终还是男女有别~
24、If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
帝哥瞅着咱们呢。。我说大伙好歹喜感点吧～
25、Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
无论。任何情况。永远。不要在一个夜晚。同时吃。安眠药。和。通便灵。
26、I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian 老子拼死拼活奋斗到食物链顶端～～～～～～不是为了成为一个食素者滴～～～
27、A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
公车站呀公车停。火车站呀火车停。俺桌上有个工作站…
28、If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
行。我听你的。咱俩就都2B了。
29、海豚可聪明了你知道不,只要驯养几个星期，它们就能让人类乖乖站在池边给它们扔鱼
吃了。
30、A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. 下棋，我不行;玩跆拳道，电脑不行～/下象棋电脑把我玩得团团转，打魂斗罗我能把机箱踹
得七零八散～
31、I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?" 瞅见个姐姐，衣服胸前写着“Guess”...俺就问了一句:“...隆过,”
32、Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up. 孩子定义:你先花2年，教丫们走路和说话。然后你再花16年教丫们坐定和闭嘴。
33、Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
有些人相信天上星，数不清，却偏不信“油漆未干”。
34、Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. 越解释越SB，不说话最NB。/ 宁愿闭嘴当傻瓜，也别学乌鸦乱呱呱。/ 剽悍的人生不需要解
释
35、A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
银行就喜欢在你拍胸脯说不缺钱的时候死皮赖脸的求您跟他借
36、Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
你有什么不开心的,说出来给大家开心开心。
37、The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas! 我知道没人在我脑子里跟我聊天，但那些话真TM有用～(我幻想的低吟不一定是真的，但足
够让我意淫)
38、A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 无愧于心哈,记性不好吧,(自从那次在人妖身边醒来，每次去夜店我都提醒自己“一定要戴眼镜……”)
39、Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
所谓的好姑娘，咳～就是还没被群众抓到的JP女?????(想立牌坊就得会装)
40、He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame. 临危忽然微笑的那个逼，定是找到替罪羊鸟~
41、Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald
head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
如果女人能做到带着秃顶和啤酒肚上大街还觉得自己倍儿性感——此时估计男女能平等。
42、The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. 小腿上滴骨头——在黑房间里找准家具位置的好装备。
43、The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
圣诞老人当然美，他知道所有YD妞住哪儿啊～～～～
44、To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
剽窃一个人的叫剽窃，剽窃许多人的叫研究。(窃钩者诛，窃国者为诸侯。)
45、Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
有些人一来大家就开心了;有些人一走大家就开心了。.
46、I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot. 我发现，我滴脚丫被一小片儿海藻擦过时，我滴那个惨叫声——和我被大白鲨吓坏时的惨叫
声是一样滴。 /热恋无小事，屁大的也是个霹雳～～
47、Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
横看成岭侧成峰，矮人眼里全是湿。。。
48、I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 我可没
怨你～我就是骂你～
49、Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?
当我填表的时候，有一项是“紧急情况联系:” 我填上了“医生”，到时候我
妈能帮上什么忙,～
50、God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
上帝蜀黍一定倍儿爱SB，不然他造这么多～～～～～～～
51、Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
每一个成功的男人背后都有一个女人。每一个翻船的成功男人背后往往多了一个女人。
52、I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
女人对于我来说是小菜一碟，我通常用嫩黄瓜和橄榄油就着吃。/生活对于我来说是小菜一碟，
我通常用黄瓜和橄榄油就着吃。 /生活，是一团麻......绳，......再加一根蜡烛......一
柄皮鞭。/老子过的日子那叫一个重口味。
53、The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
贾君鹏这名字就为了让他妈喊他回家吃饭～
54、It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end. 跳楼的时候，“啊——”的时候还没死，“啪～”那才是死了。
55、Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. 人工智能从来敌不过天然傻逼。
(求更好翻译)56、Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat. 不要以为用“麦秸秆”就能打击到男人，要“擀面杖”才行。/男人皮厚，所以不要用易碎的
玻璃打，而要用实打实的棒球棍。/对付裴勇俊这种(戴眼镜装B的)人，就要球棒毁他的容。
57、There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
抱摔是留不住女人的，搂抱才管用。/抱和爆是有区别的。 /推倒和拥抱是有微妙的区别的哟～
/拥抱和柔道里的压制是有区别
(求更好翻译)58、A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist. 所谓砍价，就是这东西虽然你不需要，但价格太好必须要买下来～
59、Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose. 绝对不要和长得丑的争执，他们已经没什么可输的了。
(求更好翻译)60、My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
我的观点或许改变了，但我是正确的这一事实却亘古不变。(我们要搞共产主义，也要搞有中
国特色的社会主义。)
61、My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
心理医师:你神经病～～～我:能说点别的吗,
心理医师:好～～而且你真TM丑～～～
62、A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
一单纯傻儿子问他爹:“爸，结婚到底要花多少钱啊,”他爸说:“儿啊，我真不知道...没看
见我还在交钱吗,”
63、Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them". I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
有人说“打不过，就合作”。我说“打不过，也要打”。因为丫们指望你加入，得来点惊喜~～
(求更好翻译)64、When in doubt, mumble.
脑子不好使的话，你该嘟囔就嘟囔。 /当你给别人一个不确定的答案的时候，就应该用教父
中马龙白兰度的语气。
65、I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
我已决定长生不老，目前为止，感觉良好。
(求更好翻译)66、Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were
好客就是:让客人觉得他们像在他们家一样，尽管你真的希望他们滚回他们家。
67、If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you! 跳伞是这样一种运动:不成功则成仁～
(求更好翻译)68、A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
电视侮辱你的智商，电脑则是吐你槽的终极存在～～～～～～～ / 电视使人脑残，电脑使人脑瘫。
69、Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil. 知识就是力量，力量会邪恶化。于是好好学习当大魔王吧～
70、Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. 钱买不来幸福，但有了它，痛苦的日子会好熬一点。
71、Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. 跟悲观主义者借钱吧～他反正不指望你还～～～
72、Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen. 担忧真的好使～～老子担心的事儿90%都没发生～～
73、Virginity is贞操如泡影，一戳无踪影。
74、Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
怀旧不是停滞不前/这年头，连怀旧都不如从前够味儿了。/我思念那些曾经懂得思念的日子。
75、With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. 只要主义真，猪也成超人 / 信春哥，
得永生
76、I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.
我早就该知道我跟我EX没戏～～～～归根结底，我是天枰她是JP～～
77、Hallmark Card: "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here." 那些无法挽回的东西，保留着和舍弃掉都是一样的痛苦。(没有女人冷冷清清，有了女人鸡犬
不宁)
78、You're never too old to learn something stupid.
越活越2~ /活到老,2到老
(求更好翻译)79、A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
即使这条路通往地狱，外交官们也能忽悠你上路 /人把你卖了，你还帮人数
钱～
80、I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said,
"I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well." 我和个壮汉闹急了。他:老子非得用你丫脸把地给擦了～～～我:太天真了～～他:噢,真
哒,为毛, 我:你边边角角的擦不到～～～
(求更好翻译)81、Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
有些人吹牛说丫能通灵，有些人吹牛说丫有阴阳眼，其他人只是没有这种想象
力而已
82、I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
啊我好爱好爱工作啊~ 工作让我好着迷啊~我他妈死盯着它几个小时了啊～～～～～～～～～～
83、We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control. 枪支
管理不是问题，SB管理才是问题
84、Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
(打架时)女人或许击得并不重，但她们击得更低..... (女人总是能击中男人
的要害。)
85、Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. 别
抱怨了，这个世界要是真和谐了，我们这种人就不应该存在~ /你们TMD给我记住:没有和
谐社会，你们早让美帝国主义给糟蹋了～
86、Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole. 上
帝蜀黍疼你，只是大家都觉得你2B而已
(求更好翻译)87、I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
我曾是个怀疑论者，现在我很怀疑这一点。/ 现在我对自己是否曾是个怀疑论
者都感到怀疑。
88、I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die. 老子打死都
(求更好翻译)89、If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
如果你始终脚踏实地，那就光着下半身吧。
90、To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. 别人是指哪儿打哪儿，我是打哪儿指哪儿。
91、You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often. 好吧，既然这艘船要沉了，救生衣又只有一件，我就勉为其难的虚伪一下，你对我来说实在
是不能再nice的朋友了...我一定会经常想念你滴~!!!
92、Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
站在车库的你并不会变成一辆奔驰是吧,所以站在教堂的你也不会变成基督
徒。(站着说话不
腰疼)
93、Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
世界总是在变，但我却怎么也便不出来。/人生何处不杯具，唯有面对饮水机。”
94、If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.
假设我们会吃一堑，长一智，为什么有如此多SB生那么多孩子。
(求更好翻译)95、A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
你赶不上的巴士永远比你赶上的巴士跑得快1倍。
96、Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one. 发明“胆小如鼠”这词儿的哥们一定没半夜进过厨房～
97、You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 过了河也别拆桥，没准你还要回来呢。/ 装逼不需要本事，装得到位才需要。
98、The difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is in the taste.
口腔体温计和菊花体温计有啥不同,尝尝看就知道了
99、When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
火上浇油对谁都没好处，釜底抽薪才是真正和谐。 /以暴治暴，不如以抱治爆。
(求更好翻译)100、Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. 给爷们记住，如果你在嘿咻后抽烟只能证明你那活儿不行。/如果嘿咻后你还有力气吸烟，只
能说明你那活太秒杀了。
给大家总结几点外国朋友学汉语 闹出的小笑话 对外国朋友来说，真的要学会汉语，并非易事。在包括雅利安语、闪米特语、含米特语、图兰语、印第安语、班图语等各大语系在内的人类语言中，汉语（中国话）在西方人眼里是最难学的。外国朋友如何形容汉语难学？在欧洲曾有这么一个笑话，一个学生调皮，老师惩罚他的方式是，让他去学汉语。最偏激的反应应该是英国20世纪著名作家、学者H.G.威尔斯（Herbert George Wells），在其经典作品《世界史纲》中，威尔斯把中国不能成为世界一流强国，归结为语言原因——因为太难学，中国人都把精力用在语文学习上了。 外国朋友觉得汉语难学，难在哪？主要是语言习惯和所使用的语系完全是两个概念。英语、法语、德语、俄语、希腊语、意大利语等，都属雅利安语系，学起来自然方便。更麻烦的是，汉语一字多义、一词多义和多字一义、多词一义现象很普遍。如有人专门就“我”（“I”）的不同用法作过研究，竟然有多达108不同说法。如此繁杂，连以汉语为母亲的中国人有时也很难搞清楚，对外国朋友来说，就难上加难了。再加上外国朋友喜欢用他们单一、简单、自以为是的思维方式来学习汉语，忽视汉语字、词结构的复杂、多义性，常常会闹出大笑话。从过去流行的笑话中来看，有这么几句堪称经典，令人捧腹—— 一、“胜败都是中国人赢”曾有一道考外国学生的选择题是这样：“大连实德队经过90分钟激战大胜北京现代队，获得冠军。”问，下面哪句话与文意最吻合？A 北京现代队大胜大连实德队、B北京现代队大败大连实德队、C大连实德队大败北京现代队。虽然正确的是C，考前模拟测验反复强调，结果考场上许多考生还是选B。 这题目源于一则真实的故事：1983年，中国女排和美国女排小组赛上相遇, 赛后中国报纸上出现了“中国队大胜美国队”的标题。过了几天,决赛里中国和美国队又碰头，争夺冠军, 中国报纸的标题换成了“中国队大败美国队”一名名叫Christr 的美国留学生看了报纸后很高兴，认为美国队赢了，在中国同学中称赞自己的国家队，结果弄出了大笑话。据说，直到毕业离开中国，Christr见谁都愤愤不平地称，中国人太奇怪了,胜败都是中国人赢, 那还比赛什么呢？或许在北京奥运会上，不少外国朋友又要为此迷惑不解了。 二、“亲爱的姑妈”在汉语中，“娘”与“妈”一样，都是指母亲。有一初到中国学汉语的英国留学生，在校园看上了一位漂亮的中国女生。于是他给她写求爱信，但一时忘“娘”怎么写了，便自作聪明，以“妈” 代“娘——“亲爱的姑妈······” 三、“你我都不是东西”这则笑话南师大汉语专业的老师曾在课堂上讲过——一位自称为汉语专家的美国教授，向他的学生讲授中文课，在谈到准确理解“东西”的词义时，他作如下的表述：汉语中，“东西” 并不仅仅表示方向，更多的时候指的是物品，如桌椅、 电视机、眼镜，都可以称为东西，但如果是有生命的动 物就不能这样表示——比如，你我都不是东西！” 四、“方便时候不能来”一次，几位中国同学邀
A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” Nest and Hair My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom. "What kind of bird?" my sister asked. "I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child. "Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her . "Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. " Notes: (1) inform v.告诉 (2) nest n.窝；巢 (3) description n.描述 (4) encourage v.鼓励 (5) resemble v. 相似；类似 18.鸟窝与头发 我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外的树上垒了个窝。 “是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。 “我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。 “那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。 “哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。” I've Just Bitten My Tongue
经典的英语幽默的笑话汇总 每一个国家都有自己的幽默，那我们今天就来看看英国的幽默把，小编给大家分享一下英语笑话，来一起看看学习吧 英语的幽默经典笑话 M y S i s t e r s F i n g e r s T e a c h e r:K e v i n,w h y a r e y o u l a t e t h i s t i m e? K e v i n:P l e a s e s i r,I b r u i s e d t w o f i n g e r s k n o c k i n g i n a n a i l a t h o m e. T e a c h e r:I d o n t s e e a n y b a n d a g e s. K e v i n:O h,t h e y w e r e n t m y f i n g e r s!I t o l d m y l i t t l e s i s t e r t o h o l d t h e n a i l. 我妹妹的手指头 老师：凯温，这次你怎么又迟到了? 凯温：对不起，老师，我在家钉钉子，砸坏了两个手指头。 老师：怎么没有扎绷带呀? 凯温：噢，砸的不是我的手指头，我叫小妹妹扶着钉子的。 幽默的英语搞笑笑话
L i g h t n i n g T e a c h e r:W h y i s i t s a i d t h a t l i g h t n i n g n e v e r s t r i k e s t h e s a m e p l a c e t w i c e? R o y:B e c a u s e a f t e r i t s s t r u c k o n c e t h e s a m e p l a c e i s n t t h e r e a n y m o r e! 闪电 老师：为什么说闪电从来不会两次击中同一个地方? 罗伊：因为它击中一个地方一次以后，那个地方就不存在了。 有关英语的笑话参考 T h e C l i m a t e o f N e w Z e a l a n d T e a c h e r:M a t t h e w,w h a t i s t h e c l i m a t e o f N e w Z e a l a n d? M a t t h e w:V e r y C o l d,s i r. T e a c h e r:W r o n g. M a t t h e w:B u t,s i r!W h e n t h e y s e n d u s m e a t i t a l w a y s a r r i v e s f r o z e n! 新西兰的气候 老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样? 马修：先生，那里的天气很冷。
1 Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩：这个座位是空的么？ 女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。 2，Boy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money. 男孩：我可以给你买杯饮料吗？ 女孩：你不如直接把钱给我得了。 3. My little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不识字 布朗夫人：哦， 亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！ 布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。” 4. 反正我太太明天会来换的 My Wife Will Exchange Them A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves. ″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson. ″Makes no difference″replied customer. ″What color﹖″ asked the clerk. ″Any″ he responded. ″Size﹖″ ″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasper ated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow t o exchange them.″ 反正我太太明天会来换的 一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。 “您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。
1.猫和老鼠 ——Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top. ——" What's in your box?" asked the friend. ——"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them." ——"But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend. ——"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown. 布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。“盒子里装的是什么？”朋友问道。“一只小猫，”布朗夫人回答说，“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠，我非常害怕。这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友说。“小猫也是假想的。”布朗夫人小声说道。 2.Reached Shore Fast 快速靠岸 A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to
经典英文笑话故事带翻译大全 我对她不了解 As a courier for an express delivery service，I tried to deliver a package that required refrigeration, but found no one home. I went to the house next door and told the woman who answered that I had a package for her neighbor."Oh，she works Monday throu gh Friday and every other Saturday,“said the woman，“said the woman, "and some Sundays. She leaves about 7:40 in the morning and gets home around 5:30，unless she goes to the store, in which case it's closer to seven. And she's going to the store tonight because her kids are coming to visit her all the way from California!" 我是一名快件邮递员。我曾一次送一个需冷东的包裹。但主人不在家。我便敲开了邻 居的门，那邻居说我说的包裹是她的邻居的。“噢，她从星期一到星期五，包括每隔一个 星期六工作。”那位女邻居说.“有时她星期天也工作。她每天早上七点四十离家，下午 五点半回来。如果她要去商店，差不多七点才能回来。今天晚上她要去商店的，因为她的 孩于将 特地从加利福尼亚来看她。” When she paused to take a breath, I asked if she would accept her neighbor's package. "Oh，no, I can't do that，“she said. "I don't know her that well.” 她停下喘气的工夫，我问她能否替邻居先把这包裹收下。“峨，不行，我可不能收。”她说:“我对她不怎么了解。” 关心 A customer at my teller's window was grumbling about the low interest rate on his savings account. He finally said he was just going to take all his money out of the bank，dig a hole in his back yard and bury it. 一位顾客站在我的出纳窗口前，埋怨存钱的利率太低。最后，他说他妥把所有的钱从 银行里取出来，在自家后院挖个坑，把钱理了。 The teller next to rne leaned over. "Sir，I couldn't help overhearing. Tell me, what is your address?". 隔壁窗口的出纳员探过身来说:“先生，我实在不怒愉听，但还是听到了，告诉我， 您住在什么地才?”
引言：很多老外，虽说学过两年中文，日常会话可以对付，也认识不少方块字，但对许多汉字的意思仍是一知半解。尤其对中国传统美食的深层含义更是一无所知，以至于闹出不少笑话。暂且把老外的中国美食笑话事都“栽赃”到“杰克”身上，再加上一个“我”，来看看杰克一年的笑话吧。（故事来源：网络、报刊） 农历新年 我请杰克到家来吃“团圆饺子”，他非常高兴，欣然应邀。可等我将饺子端上来以后，杰克瞪着眼睛看了半天，才疑惑地问我：“你不是要请我吃团圆饺子吗？怎么这个饺子它不是圆的？” 正月十五元宵节 我给杰克送去一碗各种口味的汤圆。过去从未吃过汤圆的杰克看到这圆圆白白的食物，竟误以为是一种禽蛋。吃完以后他对我说：“你们中国的蛋可真奇怪，我以前吃过皮蛋和咸蛋，一个是黑色的，一个是咸味的。可今天这些就更奇怪了，蛋白是软的，蛋黄却什么颜色和滋味的都有，请问是什么东西下的蛋？” 端午节 自然少不了吃粽子，路过一家著名的老字号粽子店，顺便买了几只送到杰克的住处。我先进卫生间洗手，准备邦他剥粽子。可等我出来一看，杰克已经将一只粽子连叶切成了小块，正放进嘴里大嚼。见了我，杰克停止了咀嚼，喘着气，含含糊糊地说：“这个点心的味道还不错，就是包面包的蔬菜叶实在是嚼不动。” 中秋节前夕 街上有许多人在食品店门口排队用预约券领取月饼，杰克见了，不知是怎么回事，便来问我：“那些排队的人是在抢购什么东西？”我告诉他这是在买月饼，杰克恍然大司地说：“怪不得要人，原来是一个月才卖一次的饼。” 重阳节
那时有很多小贩在卖重阳糕，糕上插着五颜六色的小旗。杰克见了，正想买了一块尝尝，却突然犹豫起来，转头问我：“美国大选也是这样的，有的糕点插支持共和党的旗，有的糕点插支持民主党的旗，不知你们这些旗都是支持什么的？” 哈哈！老外吃中国美食闹了一年的笑话。。。。。。
短篇英语笑话10则带翻译 ①Goldfish金鱼 Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them? Stan: In the bathroom 。 Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them! =================================================================== 斯丹：我赢了92 条金鱼。 弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？ 斯丹：浴室。 弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？ 斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！ ②The Revenge 欺骗的代价 Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!" =================================================================== 老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。” 妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。” 约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。” 妻子：“为什么？” 约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。” ③I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一只鸡 Psychiatrist: What's your problem? Patient: I think I'm a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on? Patient: Ever since I was an egg! =================================================================== 精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？ 病人：我认为我是一只鸡。 精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？ 病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。 ④How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出来 Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?" =================================================================== 当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前，说道：“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢？”
经典中英文对照笑话大全 导读：我根据大家的需要整理了一份关于《经典中英文对照笑话大全》的内容，具体内容：幽默笑话一向为人所欣赏,是广大群众所喜欢的精神食粮。下面是我带来的经典中英文对照笑话，欢迎阅读!经典中英文对照笑话篇一?After being with her a... 幽默笑话一向为人所欣赏,是广大群众所喜欢的精神食粮。下面是我带来的经典中英文对照笑话，欢迎阅读! 经典中英文对照笑话篇一 ?After being with her all evening, the man couldnt take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave. When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died. ""Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadnt, mine would have had to!" 和相亲对象呆了一晚上后，男人再也受不了了。 他事先安排了个朋友给他打电话，这样他就能借故先离开了。 当他回到桌边，他垂下眼睛，装出一副阴沉的表情，说："有个不幸的消息，我的祖父刚刚去世了。"
笑话：别再以为老外不懂中文 1.有两个女生到法国留学，刚到巴黎，在街上看到一个黑人从对面走来，一个 对另一个说“真黑啊。”那个黑人马上走到她们面前说了一句，“就你白！” 2.我朋友一再告戒我，在国外不要乱说中文。我问为什幺？他说：“他碰到过 外国人懂中文的事，已经有好几次了。”他和朋友在麦当劳吃东西聊天，正说 湖南人的话题，结果有个德国mm在边上插了一句，说：“湖南人，真辣！” 朋友当时吓得楞了好几秒，没回过神。 3.更强的是一个印度同学，一次有人问他，“听说你会说中国话，是么？” 那印度人立刻用中国话说：“你有毛病么？你看不出我是印度人么？ 我不会讲中国话。”立马抽丫的！ 4.在法兰克福的地铁上，对面坐了个高个儿，偶跟同伴随口说了一句，“那家伙腿 可真长啊……”没想到那老外居然问俺：“你也不赖”吓俺一跳，他说， “你们中国人天不怕，天不怕，就怕洋鬼子开口说中国话，哈哈哈……” 最后道别时，那个家伙居然还是用上海话说了一句“再会”，偶当场差点晕倒在地… 5.朋友的一件真事：朋友一次到东京出差，在一个高级大厦的电梯里看到一个金发 碧眼穿着暴露的女郎走了进来。朋友就小声问旁边的同事：“这是不是鸡啊？” 谁料那个女郎猛的一回头用标准的京片子说：“你丫说谁呢？小样儿！找抽吧？” 6.偶一同事在美国某机场，和另外一位MM，看见前面走着一位白人老奶奶， 巨肥硕那种的。俩MM在后面用上海话说：“也不知道吃什幺能吃得这幺胖？” 白人老奶奶回头，用上海话答曰“阿拉吃饭” 7.一同学，在纽约，问路，一个巨pp的金发美女，很热心，还会中文，遂带着 他走了一段，那同学夸奖说，你中文说的真好；那mm的回答巨强：纽约 就是中国人的殖民地，不会中文行幺！哈哈 8.偶老妈坐地铁去前门结果睡着了到站时猛然惊醒随口说了句：是前门吗？ 旁边一个外国小伙子立马点头说：是前门！于是老妈下车…… 9.和老爸在法国才好笑，我们4各人在电梯里，然后我跟老爸说了句，“老外 好高”，那几个人立刻说：“在这里你才是老外”，现在想起来当时真是丢人。 还是法国，我在超市里找面包，嘴里不停地在说面包，面包，结果旁边一个人 告诉我“面包在那边”，我还说了句“谢谢”。在日内瓦吃饭，竟然有老外 和我说广东话，而且还很标准，晕啊～ 10.朋友在电梯里碰到一个老外.那老外衬衫上三个扣子没扣.朋友就跟她朋友说: “这老兄的胸毛真性感”老外立刻用标准的中文:“谢谢” 11.和朋友在一家韩国餐馆吃饭，服务生有西瓜太郎一样的头发，被我们评论了半 天，最恐怖的是在那人给我们上菜的时候还肆无忌惮的说，n次之后，估计那人忍无可忍了，我们的炉子灭了，叫他给点火，那男人用标准的中文说“小心火，慢慢吃”，当时我们三个人疯了，楞是没听懂！他又用英语说了一遍，我们才缓过神来，大惊！ 完全无语！这顿饭的后半部分都没怎幺说话，被吓的！要知道我们在那家吃到了 vip，这个过程中都不知道说了多少乱七八糟的啊！晕死！ 12.一次统计课，老师教limit，下边一同学估计是没听清楚，顺口问了一句“什幺？”， 老师说：“极限啊！”同学惊，我不解。便问旁边的人：“极限什幺意思？没听过 这个词，怎幺拚？”我同位也疯了，大吼“中国话你也听不懂了，limit极限啊！” 我恍然大悟状。从此洗心革面，再不敢在这个金发大胡子的课上胡说八道。 13.一朋友在国外，坐地铁，站在风口太冷，就很谨慎小心的遛到旁边一外国
超简短的5个英文笑话 1. Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。 One boy throws his bag out the window. 一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。 Teacher: who just threw that?! 老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了? Boy: Me! I’m going home now. 男孩：我!我现在要回家了。 2. What dog can jump higher than a building? 什么狗比大楼跳的还高?
Anydog, buildings can't jump! 任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。 3. What has a head, a tail, and no body?什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体? A coin! 硬币。 4. What has one eye but cannot see? 什么有一只眼睛，却看不见? A needle. 针。
5. Wife: "How would you describe me?" 妻子：你会怎么形容我呢? Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." 丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK. Wife: "What does that mean?" 妻子：那是什么意思? Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." 丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。 Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
最搞笑的英语小笑话十则 篇一：爆笑的经典英语小笑话 英语笑话（一） 老师在黑板上写了一句：Timeismoney.并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。”小明上英文课时跟老师说：mayIgotothetoilet? 老师说：goahead. 小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：mayIgotothetoilet? 老师说：goahead. 小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！ 英语笑话（二） 某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：Iamhongtaoliu，外宾曰：我Tm 还是方片七呢！英语笑话（三） 江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道："missJiang,youareverybeautiful."翻译照翻，江青心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。 翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："where?where?"外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："everywhere,everywhere." 翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不
见得，不见得”。翻译赶紧翻成英文："Youarenotallowedtosee,youarenotallowedtosee." 英语笑话（四） 话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「IAm后羿！」 b神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「IAm丘比特！」 轮到c了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...Am...soRRY...」 英语笑话（五） 某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：Iamsorry.老外应道：Iamsorrytoo. 某人听后又道：Iamsorrythree. 老外不解，问：whatareyousorryfor? 某人无奈，道：Iamsorryfive. 英语笑话（六） 一位来自日本的旅客，坐出租车去机场的路上，看到一辆汽车经过，就说：“oh，ToKoTA！madeinJapan!Itisveryfast！”又有一辆经过，他又说：“oh，nIssAn！madeinJapan!Itisveryfast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，honDA！madeinJapan!Itisveryfast！”
看看外国人学汉语中闹的笑话 一、“胜败都是中国人赢” 曾有一道考外国学生的选择题是这样：“大连实德队经过90分钟激战大胜北京现代队，获得冠军。”问，下面哪句话与文意最吻合？A 北京现代队大胜大连实德队、B北京现代队大败大连实德队、C大连实德队大败北京现代队。虽然正确的是C，考前模拟测验反复强调，结果考场上许多考生还是选B。 这题目源于一则真实的故事：1983年，中国女排和美国女排小组赛上相遇, 赛后中国报纸上出现了“中国队大胜美国队”的标题。过了几天,决赛里中国和美国队又碰头，争夺冠军, 中国报纸的标题换成了“中国队大败美国队”一名名叫Christr 的美国留学生看了报纸后很高兴，认为美国队赢了，在中国同学中称赞自己的国家队，结果弄出了大笑话。据说，直到毕业离开中国，Christr见谁都愤愤不平地称，中国人太奇怪了,胜败都是中国人赢, 那还比赛什么呢？或许在北京奥运会上，不少外国朋友又要为此迷惑不解了。 二、“亲爱的姑妈” 在汉语中，“娘”与“妈”一样，都是指母亲。有一初到中国学汉语的英国留学生，在校园看上了一位漂亮的中国女生。于是他给她写求爱信，但一时忘“娘”怎么写了，便自作聪明，以“妈”代“娘——“亲爱的姑妈······” 三、“一起上床吧” “上”与“起”有时意思相同，但如果分别搭配，意思可能完全相反。如“上床”与“起床”便是两回事情，而“上床”还有一起做爱那层意思。一美国女孩与临时教她汉语的中国男邻居一起应邀参加朋友PARTY，因时间太晚，又喝多了，便留宿下来。临休息前，美国女孩给中国男邻居递了一张纸条——“我们一起上床吧！”她的本意是明天一道起床离开，却害得中国男邻居胡思乱想半宿。 四、“戴安全套” 帽子是套在头上的，有时外国朋友便会弄混。有一中国老师讲过一个发生在他教授的在京外国留学生身上的故事——这名留学生告诉老师，他常骑摩托车外出。老师提醒他北京车太多，要小心。他接了一句，“没关系，我会戴安全套的。” 五、“你我都不是东西” 这则笑话南师大汉语专业的老师曾在课堂上讲过——一位自称为汉语专家的美国教授，向他的学生讲授中文课，在谈到准确理解“东西”的词义时，他作如下的表述：汉语中，“东西”并不仅仅表示方向，更多的时候指的是物品，如桌椅、
英语幽默笑话故事带翻译 篇一：英语短文笑话(带翻译) 1、How much English can you speak? "Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English." The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?" The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!" 中文翻译 "法官先生，我的当事人被指控偷窃，这是多么不公正啊。他一周前才来到纽约，几乎不认路。而且，他只会说几个英语单词。" 法官看了看被告，问道："你会说多少英文？" 被告抬起头，说："把你的钱包给我！" 2 A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day, whereas women use 30000 words a day. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. He said, "What?" 丈夫给妻子看了一项调查结果，为了向她证明女人比男人啰嗦。研究表明男人平均每天使用15000个字，而女人每天使用30000个。 妻子想了一会儿说，女人每天说的字数是男人的两倍，因为她们必须重复已经说过的话。他问："什么？" 3 Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩：这个座位是空的么？ 女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。 4、 "Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying." "Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any." "But has he finished his own cake?" "Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that." "汤姆，你弟弟怎么了？" 妈妈在厨房里问。"他在哭。" "没事儿，妈妈，" 汤姆答道。"我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因为我不给他吃。" "他已经吃完自己的了么？" "是的。" "我帮他吃完时，他也哭了。"
10个经典英语笑话(带中文对照).txt如果青春的时光在闲散中度过，那么回忆岁月将是一场凄凉的悲剧。杂草多的地方庄稼少，空话多的地方智慧少。即使路上没有花朵，我仍可以欣赏荒芜。Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else" The nurse asked. "Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor."杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗.一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填.仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的"护士问. "有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单身汉."Wife:You to te statistics on thepaper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk :It's okey. To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals.妻子:你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的.丈夫:那有什么据我调查,死予肝癌的人100%都吃饭的."Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine.""YoursCan you prove it""Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it.""请原谅,你占了我的位置.""你的位置你能征明这点吗""能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌."One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me"Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice"一天,夏娃问亚当:"你当真爱我吗"亚当无可奈何地回答:"我还有的选择吗"Always Thirsty"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me.""That"s terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain""No, but I am always thirsty!"总感到口渴一个男人对他的朋友说：“我动了一次手术，手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”“真是太糟糕了！”朋友说道：“你觉得疼吗”“不疼，可是我总感到口渴。”A Useful WayFather: Jack, why do you drink so much waterJack: I have just had an apple, : What"s that got to do with itJack: I forgot to wash the apple.一个有效的方法爸爸：杰克，你干嘛喝这么多水呀杰克：我刚才吃了个苹果，爸爸。爸爸：可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢杰克：我忘了洗苹果呀。A PresentKate: Mom, do you know what I"m going to give you for your birthdayMom: No, Honey, whatKate: A nice : But I"ve got a nice : No, you haven"t. I"ve just dropped it.凯特的礼物凯特：妈妈，你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗妈妈：不知道，宝贝，是什么呀凯特：一把漂亮的茶壶。妈妈：可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。凯特：不，你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。The Doctor Knows BetterA man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill.""I am afraid that he is dead." said the this, the man moved his head and said: "I"m not dead. I"m still alive.""Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院。他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说：“我想他伤得很厉害。”医生说：“恐怕他已经死了。”听到医生的话，这个男人转动着头说：“我没死，我还活着。”妻子说：“安静，医生比你懂得多。”Waste or SaveFather: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don"t you know you are wasting timeJack: Yes, Dad. But I"ve saved you a meal, haven" I 浪费还是节约父亲：噢，杰克，你又睡了一上午。难道你不知道你这是在浪费时间吗杰克：我知道，爸爸。可我还给您节省了一顿饭呢，是不是Why Is He HowlingDentist: Please stop howling. I haven"t even touched your tooth : I know, but you are standing on my foot!他为什么喊牙医：请你不要再喊了！我还没碰你的牙呢。病人：我知道，可是你正踩着我的脚呀！
八年级英语笑话带翻译 导读：我根据大家的需要整理了一份关于《八年级英语笑话带翻译》的内容，具体内容：冷笑话是近几年才出现的新兴语言现象，它以网络为主要的传播方式。本文是，希望对大家有帮助!：一双非常大的手Question: If you have five appl... 冷笑话是近几年才出现的新兴语言现象，它以网络为主要的传播方式。本文是，希望对大家有帮助! ：一双非常大的手 Question: If you have five apples in one hand and six oranges in the other hand, what do you have? Answer: Very BIG hands! 问题：假如你一只手拿了五颗苹果，另一只手握着六颗柳橙，那你有什么? 答案：一双非常大的手。 ：我只要跑过你 Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them. One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?" His friend replies: "I dont have to out run it, I just have to