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从一首英文诗歌的翻译看中文之美与严谨讲课讲稿

从一首英文诗歌的翻译看中文之美与严谨讲课讲稿
从一首英文诗歌的翻译看中文之美与严谨讲课讲稿

从一首英文诗歌的翻译看中文之美与严谨在微信上流传一篇以一首英语诗歌的中文翻译版本的多样化来赞美中文的文章。

英文原文为:

You say that you love rain,

but you open your umbrella when it rains.

You say that you love the sun,

but you find a shadow spot when the sun shines.

You say that you love the wind,

but you close your windows when wind blows.

This is why I am afraid, you say that you love me too.

中文翻译有下列版本

1.(普通版):

你说你爱雨,

但当细雨飘洒时你却撑开了伞;

你说你爱太阳,

但当它当空时你却看见了阳光下的暗影;

你说你爱风,

但当它轻拂时你却紧紧地关上了自己的窗子;

你说你也爱我,

而我却为此烦忧。

2.(文艺版):

你说烟雨微芒,兰亭远望;

后来轻揽婆娑,深遮霓裳。你说春光烂漫,绿袖红香;后来内掩西楼,静立卿旁。你说软风轻拂,醉卧思量;后来紧掩门窗,漫帐成殇。你说情丝柔肠,如何相忘;我却眼波微转,兀自成霜。

3. (诗经版):

子言慕雨,启伞避之。

子言好阳,寻荫拒之。

子言喜风,阖户离之。

子言偕老,吾所畏之。

4. (离骚版):

君乐雨兮启伞枝,

君乐昼兮林蔽日,

君乐风兮栏帐起,

君乐吾兮吾心噬。

5. (七言绝句版):

恋雨却怕绣衣湿,

喜日偏向树下倚。

欲风总把绮窗关,

叫奴如何心付伊。

6. (七律压轴版):

江南三月雨微茫,

罗伞叠烟湿幽香。

夏日微醺正可人,

却傍佳木趁荫凉。

霜风清和更初霁,

轻蹙蛾眉锁朱窗。

怜卿一片相思意,

尤恐流年拆鸳鸯。

严格地讲,虽然上述译文都很美,但是没有一个准确翻译了最后一句的英文原意(“这是在你说你爱我时我感到害怕的原因”或“你言行相反的这些做法是在你说你爱我时我感到害怕的原因”)。上述译文中最接近原文的普通版“你说你也爱我,而我却为此烦忧”中,“此”指的是“你说你也爱我”,还是你言行相反的这些做法?这一版本也未明确表达出“你言行相反的这些做法是在你说你爱我时我感到害怕的原因”。文艺版和七律压轴版过度发挥,与原诗相差太大。诗经版、离骚

版和七言绝句版比文艺版与七律压轴版接近原意,但对最后一句的翻译不如普通版。

文学翻译中多少偏离原文本意一点不是大问题,可能还会让译文比原文更美。对许多中文读者来说,即使他们能读英文,朱生豪译的中文莎士

比亚剧作可能比莎士比亚原文更美。对于诗歌,我们可以称赞中文的朦

胧美、含蓄美,意在已言未言之间。我们还可以欣赏中文的形式美、韵

律美。当我们表达需要严谨的内容时,朦胧美、含蓄美就可能由优点变

为缺点。

语言学上有分析语和综合语的分类。分析语靠词汇在句子中的位置

表达词汇在句子的作用,从而准确传递句子的信息;综合语靠词汇的变

形表达词汇在句子的作用,从而准确传递句子的信息。汉语几乎是完美的分析语,词汇没有变形,完全靠其位置表达词汇在句子的作用。因此,含义明确严谨的完整句子在汉语中很难构成,我们往往需要用几句话才能准确地表达出来欧洲语言的一个含义明确严谨的长句。汉语中写长句子,经常或是可有歧义,或是冗繁不合汉语习惯。我曾经写过一篇短文

想谈谈有些相对论拥护者对相对论的错误认识,未仔细考虑便用了题目“拥护相对论观点中的常见错误”。有些读者把题目读作“拥护(相对论观点

中的常见错误)”,而我的本意是“(拥护相对论观点)中的常见错误”。我

在这里借用数学中的规则,括号内为优先结合在一起的句子成分。虽然从常识上讲,我不会拥护错误,因此“(拥护相对论观点)中的常见错误”应该是正确

的读法,但是从结构上看,读作“拥护(相对论观点中的常见错误)”也是可

以的。相对论反对者对相对论也有错误认识,如果写文章谈相对论反对者的错误

认识,题目“反对相对论观点中的一些错误认识”也会出现有歧义的两种读法,“((反对相对论)观点)中的一些错误认识”和“反对((相对论观点)

中的一些错误认识)”。

爱克曼在《歌德谈话录》中提到歌德称赞德语的表达能力。虽然语言学

家常常认为现代德语应算作分析语,但是其综合语成分还是很高的,其词汇

在句子中的语法作用基本不依赖于词汇在句子中的位置。这样长句子就不容易产生歧义。英语比德语更接近汉语,综合语的成分更少。不过与

大多数欧洲语言一样,英语中定语从句和同位语从句为严谨表达提供了

极大的便利。汉语要在符合汉语习惯的情况下严谨表达同样含义,则需要用几个句子来完成。不少现代译著常见不符合汉语表达习惯的欧式句型,且未达原意。翻译欧洲语言原著,需要把欧式长句译成几个汉语句

子。这里欧洲语言原著应读(欧洲语言)原著,而不是欧洲(语言原著)。汉语中没有定语从句和同位语从句,难以写出严谨、不产生歧义的长句

子。而写几个句子来严谨表达又往往显得繁复,并且不少现代译者缺乏

重新组织几个汉语句子以准确表达欧洲语言长句的语言造诣,因此,能读外文原著的读者常常发现现代汉语译著比原文更难理解,有些句子不知所云。汉语的优势似在朦胧之美,可豪放,可含蓄,传意传神在已言

未言之间,却不是表达严谨概念和思想最有效率的语言。

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