- Hey, have you ever heard of the Van Nuys Comic-Con? - Yeah. -
你有听说过加州凡奈斯漫展吗 -有啊
It's a dinky little convention where they sell collectibles 就是个破烂小展览卖卖收藏物and get sad D-list celebrities to appear. Why? 请一些不知名惨兮兮的小咖出场怎么了I got asked to sign autographs there. 我被邀请去办签名会
That's awesome! 太屌啦
Is this for Serial Ape-ist? 是因为《杀人恶猿》吗
Well, it could be for the monkey movie. 可能是因为这部猴子电影
It could be my hemorrhoid commercial. 也可能是因为我拍的痔疮广告
The list does not go on. 反正可能性只有这俩
- When is it? - It doesn't matter. -什么时候 -这不重要
- I'm not doing it. - What? Why not? -我才不去 -为什么为啥不去
You just said yourself, it's sad. 你刚才自己说了很惨啊
Yeah, but it's not pathetic. 但没有到可悲啊
That's where I draw the line. 我的底线就是不可悲则可行
Come on! We'll have fun. 去嘛肯定有意思
I don't know. 我也不知道了
You'll have nerds fawning all over you. 会有各种宅男对你摇尾乞怜啊
If you don't love that, this marriage is in trouble. 如果你不喜欢这感觉
那我们的婚姻要出大事了
I guess it wouldn't hurt to meet some fans 好吧去见见粉丝
and make a little extra money. 顺便赚点外快也不错
Yeah. 对啊
Wow! An appearance by George Lucas... 大导演乔治·卢卡斯...
...'s dermatologist. 的皮肤科医生也会来
- Oh, I want that autograph. - Oh, yeah. -他的签名我也要了 -好好好
You know, with us living together, 我们现在开始同居了
maybe we could think about having people over. 是不是能考虑试试邀请客人来玩
We have people over all the time. 我们整天有人来访啊
We have the maintenance people, the pizza delivery man... 有维修工还有披萨外送员... ...that UPS driver who feels the need to ask 还有那个觉得有必要来关心
how parts of me are hanging. 我最近有没有什么"鸟"事的快递员
You know what I meant. 你知道我说的是什么意思
All right, fine. 好吧行
Let's say that we were to entertain people. 那就假设我们要宴请朋友
What type of gathering did you have in mind? 你打算举办哪种聚会呢
Huh? A meal? Lunch? 吃饭的话午餐会
Brunch? Dinner? 早午餐会还是晚餐会呢
Afternoon tea? A formal tea? Hmm? 下午茶的话是正式的吗
Is it a party? 还是是个派对呢
And if so, what kind of party? 如果是那请问是哪种派对
A cocktail party? 是鸡尾酒派对
A Tupperware party? 直销产品派对
Ooh, yeah-- is it a surprise party? 对了是惊喜派对吗
Oh, I hope it's not a West Coast party, 我希望不是《西海岸派对》啊
'cause according to the man on the radio, 因为根据电台里这首歌的歌词
a West Coast party don't stop. 西海岸派对永不停歇啊
I'm sorry I mentioned it. 对不起我不应该提起这事
Oh, don't be. You get your hopes up, 不用道歉你心中燃起希望之火
I knock them down. That's called teamwork. 我一桶冷水把它浇熄这就叫合作无间That's a kick. 踢了
That's an actual kick. 孩子真的踢了一下
What are you doing? 你在干嘛
I felt a kick. 我感觉到踢了一下
There's a baby in there. 里面有一个宝宝呢
Oh, yeah, that's where I put it. 对哦原来我把宝宝放这里了
Oh, I mean, I know you're pregnant. 我的意思是我知道你怀孕了
I just... 只是...
never connected the idea of pregnancy 我从来没把怀孕
and you actually having a baby. 跟你要生孩子这件事联想到一起
Which MIT did you go to? 你去的是哪家麻省理工来着
Oh, God, we are not ready to have an infant in this house! 天啊
我们这房子还没准备好迎接宝宝啊
We don't have a crib, we don't have diapers. 没有婴儿床也没有尿布
We're not baby-proofed. 也还没弄婴儿保护措施
Anyone can just walk in off the street and lift our toilet lids! 任何人都可以走进家里
掀开没锁上的马桶盖
Howie, we have time to do all that stuff. 华仔我们还有时间搞那些东西
Do we? 真的有吗
Look at you. 看看你
Willy Wonka would roll you to the juicing room. 就像电影里被推去榨汁的小胖子一样圆The next person kicking you will be me. 下一个踢你的人会是老娘
Good night. 晚安
Are we even in a good school...? 我们这里是好的学区...
I warned you, and I did it. 警告过你了我言出必行
What's all this? 这是什么
Oh, everything we need for your autograph session-- 你办签名会需要的一切东西
- head shots, markers. - Okay. -大头照马克笔 -等等
Leonard, it's sweet you're excited about this, 莱纳德你对这事很上心是好事
but it'll be a miracle if one person asks for my autograph. 但哪怕是有一个人想要我的签名都能算奇迹
Are you kidding? 你在开玩笑吧
I once paid $20 for Theo Sassler's signature. 我有一次花20块去讨西奥·杀死勒的签名呢- Who's that? Oh, I don't even know. -他是谁 -我也不认识
I just liked his name. Theo Sassler! 我只是觉得他名字炫西奥·杀死勒
Oh, and look at this. 你看这个
I even got a change maker. 我还弄了一个换零钱机
How much change you want, little lady? 你要换多少零钱小姑娘
Oh, there's so much I want to change. 我想要换[掉]的东西多了
Yeah, well, if it's a dollar, you're in luck. 如果是想要一块钱换硬币你就来得巧了What's going on here? 这是怎么一回事
You expressed an interest in having people over, 你表示出了对邀请客人有兴趣
and I feel I dismissed it too quickly. 我觉得我太快驳回你的提议了
So, I took matters into my own hands, 所以我决定亲自着手此事
and I arranged a brunch. 筹办了一场早午餐会
Well, that's so nice. 这真是太好了
Who's coming? 有谁会来
Oh, uh, Stuart, Bert from the geology lab, 斯图尔特地质学实验室的伯特
and Mrs. Petrescu from downstairs. 楼下的佩特雷斯库太太
You mean the Romanian lady on the second floor? 你是说住二楼的罗马尼亚女士吗Yes. 是的
Oh, fun story: 说来也好笑
she grew up with ten siblings. 她从小是跟十个兄弟姐妹一起长大
Or possibly penguins. Her English is atrocious. 或是跟企鹅一起长大她的英语太烂了That's an odd mix of people. 客人的组合好奇怪啊
Well, for our first time hosting, 我们第一次邀请客人来家里
I thought it would be wise to conduct a trial run. 我认为先做个试验是明智之举
You know, like how I practiced for that Halloween haunted house
就像当年我为了万圣节鬼屋练胆
by going into the bathroom at the bus station. 于是我去了公车站的厕所
You never went into that haunted house. 你后来压根没进那间鬼屋
You never saw what jumped out at me at the bus station.
那是因为你没看见我在公车站受到什么惊吓
Well, thank you, Sheldon. 谢谢你谢尔顿
This is a fun surprise. 这真是个有趣的惊喜
Well, the real surprise is 真正的惊喜是
how surprised you are that I'm great at surprises. 你知道我擅长给人惊喜后有多惊喜
Well, that's not a surprise at all. 那根本不算惊喜
I mean, if I knew you were good at surprises, 如果我本来就知道你擅长给人惊喜
I would have expected the surprise, 那我就会预计到有这个惊喜
and therefore not have been surprised. 然后就不会被你"惊喜到"
But as it is, I didn't know, 可事实上是我之前不知道
and therefore my surprise should be unsurprising. 所以我"惊喜"的样子你根本不该觉得惊喜Don't get me all randy. Guests are on the way. 不许用言语挑逗人家客人随时会到
Hi. 回来啦
Hey, where you been? 你们去哪儿了
Oh, we went and did a little shopping for the baby. 我们去给宝宝买了点东西
Wait till you see the crib we found. 你等着瞧我们选的婴儿床吧
You bought a crib without me? 你买婴儿床不用问过我吗
- You're gonna love it. - Yeah. -你肯定会喜欢的 -对啊
It's the highest rated one on the market. 它是市场上评价最好的一款
I wouldn't even call it a crib. 要我就不会说那是婴儿床
I'd call it a Fortress of Solitude for babies. 我会称其为"宝宝的孤独城堡"
Sounds expensive. 听起来就是贵货啊
Okay, well, I may have gone a bit overboard, 好吧我可能有点太舍得了
but you can't put a price on safety. 可安全是无价之宝啊
Though if you did, it's more zeroes than you're expecting. 但如果非要给个价
那会比你想象中多很多个0
But it's the safest crib you can buy. 但那是市面上最安全的婴儿床
And if you don't like it, we can return it. 而且如果你不喜欢我们可以退掉啊
- Fine. - In our new minivan. -好吧 -它在我们的新面包车里呢
Hey, what's for lunch? 中午吃什么呀
You bought a minivan?! 你还买了一辆面包车吗
It's for the baby, and I didn't buy it. 那是为了宝宝啊而且我又没买
The dealer loaned it to me for a 24-hour test drive. 卖车那人借给我试开一天
Though we did ding up the back pretty good with the crib, 但我们搬婴儿床时
把车后备厢撞得挺狠的
so you might have bought a minivan. 所以你很可能得买下这辆面包车
I don't want to drive that. It's such a mom car. 我不想开这车太老妈子风了
The guy at the dealership said 卖车那人说
they're not just for moms anymore. 这车不再只适用于妈妈
Then again, he did think you were my husband. 但我还想说那人的确认为你是我老公They thought it at the ultrasound. 照B超的人也这么想
Why not at the car dealership? 卖车的人会这么想也不出奇
Never been on this side of the table before. 从来没坐过在桌子的这一端
I feel powerful. 感觉可以呼风唤雨啊
Really? 是咩
I feel like I'm selling candy so our team can get new uniforms. 有种像为了队伍筹款买新制服而卖糖果的感觉
Okay, so it's $4.75 for a signed black-and-white 签一张黑白照4块7毛5
and $9.95 for a color. 彩照9块9毛5
Right. Why not five and ten bucks? 好的干嘛不直接收5块和10块
Well, I brought my moneymaker. Let me shake it. 我带了换零钱机[性感本钱] 让人家甩甩嘛Hey, that guy's looking over here. 那个家伙正往这边看呢
You think he's your first autograph? 你觉得他会是第一位买你签名的粉丝吗
I don't know. Be cool. He's coming. He's coming. 不知道淡定他过来了他过来了
I love your movie. 我超爱你的电影
Well, thanks. 谢谢
It has got to be one of the worst things 绝对是我人生中看过
I've ever seen in my life. 最糟糕的东西之一
Your love confuses me. 你的爱使我困惑
- Would you like an autograph? - Sure. -想来张签名照吗 -好啊
- Okay. Who do I make it out to? - Daniel. -好的签给谁 -丹尼尔
- Okay. - I have to ask. -好的 -我想知道
Were you trying to be that bad, 你是故意演这么烂
or are you just a terrible actress? 还是你本身演技就烂
That did not clear things up. 您这话更让我摸不着头脑了
That'll be $4.75. 一张4块7毛5
Keep the change. 不用找了
But I... 可我...
Nothing about that was good. 全程糟透了
There's nothing to be afraid of, Sheldon. 没什么好怕的谢尔顿
The average cork speed is 25 miles per hour. 木塞的平均速度是每小时40公里
If that is too fast around a school, 如果这速度在学校操场算飞快
it is certainly too fast around a kitchen. 那么在厨房也肯定是
Been 15 minutes. Just sayin'. 我想说已经耗15分钟了
Okay. I can do this. 好吧我能行
Just give me a moment... 再给我点时间
Mimosas coming up. 含羞草香槟来了
I once left orange juice in my fridge so long, 我有一次把橙汁放在冰箱的时间久到it tasted like a mimosa. 它喝起来像含羞草酒
How old was it? 到底放了多久
It's hard to say. 不好说
I don't remember much after I drank it. 我喝完之后就不省人事了
Would you like one, Mrs. Petrescu? 你想来一杯吗佩特雷斯库太太
Yes. 当然
Drink is fun and good friends-- Applebee's. 酒好好友尽在苹果蜂餐厅
Drink is fun and good friends-- Applebee's. 美国知名连锁西式平价餐厅
She's learning English from TV. 她的英语都是看电视学的
TV, good. Now back to you. 电视很棒啊画面回到现场主播
Hey, guys. 大伙们
Hi, Stuart. 斯图尔特
These are for you. 这花是送给你的
Oh, they're pretty. Thank you. 好漂亮的花啊谢谢你
Stuart, this is Bert from the Caltech geology lab, 斯图尔特
这位是加州理工地质实验室的伯特
and this is Mrs. Petrescu from downstairs. 这位是楼下的佩特雷斯库太太
Nice to meet you. 很高兴认识你们
- Hello. - Hey. -你好 -你好
So, what did I miss? 我有错过什么吗
Eh, we watched Sheldon try to open a bottle for 15 minutes.
我们见证了谢尔顿耗费15分钟打开一瓶酒
15 minutes can save you 15% or more on car insurance.
15分钟可以帮您节省15%以上的汽车保险哦
15 minutes can save you 15% or more on car insurance.
美国政府雇员保险公司的电视广告台词
Anybody else coming to this thing? 这聚会还有其他人来吗
What's your name? 你叫什么名字
- Jeff. - Okay. -杰夫 -好的
My favorite part is your shower scene. 我最喜欢的部分就是你洗澡那一段Been hearing that a lot today. 这话今天我可听了不少次
I even have a screen grab on my phone. 我还用手机截了图
Yep, there they are. 没错就是这对宝贝
Okay, let's keep it moving. 行了快闪吧你
Here you go. 给你
Should've punched that guy. 我真该揍这个小子
Well, go ahead. He's right over there. 想揍就揍吧他就在那儿呢
Why do you do that? Can't you let me have my moment? 施主何苦要点破就不能让我意淫一下吗
- Hello. - Hi. -你好 -你好
I like your movies. 我喜欢你拍的电影
- Thank you! - I saw both of them. -谢谢 -两个我都看过哦
I assume we're still talking about the movies, 我想你是指我的两部电影吧but after today, who knows. 但根据今日对话 "两个"还真不一定
You think I could get a picture of us? 可以和你合影留念吗
Oh, sure. 当然
And, uh, could you be giving me a kiss? 可以和你接吻留念吗
No. She cannot kiss... 不行她不能亲...
What is wrong with you people?! 你们都有什么毛病啊
- Leonard... - No, no, no. It's not okay. -莱纳德 -不行这样是不对的
- Who are you? - I'm her husband. -你是哪根葱啊 -我是她老公
No, you're not. 谁信啊
I am. 我真的是
Yeah, he really is. 对他真是我老公
No. 鬼才信
It's got a rearview camera, there's a DVD player-- 这车配置了倒车摄像头光盘播放器oh, and check this out. 你再看这个
It's like we're living in the future! 是不是感觉自己进入了未来世界
Hey, show her the trunk! Show her the trunk! 给她演示后备箱给她演示后备箱
Imagine this: you've got the baby in one hand, 想象一下你左手抱着娃
groceries in the other, and you're thinking, 右手提着菜你对自己说
"How am I gonna open this trunk?" "我要怎么开后备箱呢"
I'm probably thinking, "Where's my husband, 我应该会对自己说 "我那个猪头老公呢
and why isn't he helping me?" 他为什么不过来帮我"
You don't need my help when you can open the trunk 当轻轻一踢就可以打开后备箱时
with a simple kick of the foot. 你就根本不需要我帮忙了
No, it's a gentle kick; you're doing it wrong. 不人家是轻踢你没做到位
Here. Give me those. 来把东西都给我
Uh, maybe it was more of a circle? 是不是应该用脚画个圈呀
It's weird that guy thought you were a couple. 卖车的人以为你们俩是夫妻完全不"出奇"啊- Yes! - Yes! -开了 -开了
See? 看到没
Easy. 轻而易举
And look at all this cargo space. 看看这宽敞的后备箱空间
You know, we'll get the crib out 等我们把婴儿床搬出来
and you can take it for a test-drive. 你就可以上车试开了
I'm telling you, this van is gonna be... 告诉你这辆厢型车绝对是...
Oh, is it your back? 伤到你的背了吗
Uh... yeah. 是的
Anyway, let's just get in and see if the GPS 没事我们先上车
can take us to the nearest emergency room. 试试看导航能否带我们去最近的急诊室So until Amy's apartment is fixed, 所以直到艾米的公寓修好之前
she and I are living here together. 她和我都将在这住
I lived with my old girlfriend. 我也曾和我的前女友住在一起
She was a geologist, too. 她也是位地质学家
Things didn't work out? 后来你俩吹了吗
I came home from work one day and she had taken everything. 有一天我下班回家她把一切都卷跑了
I'm warning you, 友情提示
hide your good rocks. 记得把好的石头标本都藏起来
My sister's husband took all her things, too. 我妹夫也把她的东西卷跑了
Story at 11:00. 11点即将播出
Really, no one else is coming? 真的没有其他客人来了吗
Oh, this is it. 没有了
You are the practice round. 你们这算是练习赛
Practice round? For-for what? 练习赛练习什么
Uh, no. He-he just means that 不他的意思是
you were the first people we thought of. 你们是我们首先想到的人
You know, exactly. 没有错
We've never thrown a brunch before, 我们从未邀请过别人来吃早午餐
and I wanted to work out all the kinks. 我想先试试水
So, I'm like a lab rat 所以我就相当于
before your real friends come over? 你真正的朋友来之前的小白鼠
You see, your words sound reasonable, 你的话非常合理
but your face looks angry. 但你的表情非常生气
Help me out here. This is not where I shine. 快帮我一下我最不擅长这个了
Stuart, you know you're one of our favorite people. 斯图尔特
你知道你是我们最爱的朋友之一
Okay, now, see, you look sincere, 你的表情非常真挚
but your words are completely false. 但你的话却错得离谱
I'm glad we did this test run. 幸好我们举行了这个练习赛
These brunches are wild! 早午餐可真是不好办啊
But how did you get her to go out with you? 你是怎样成功让她同意跟你约会的啊
Well, she moved in across the hall. 她刚好搬到了我家对面
And he started to slowly wear me down. 他不断纠缠让我慢慢放弃抵抗
Like a river carves a canyon. 只要功夫深铁杵也能磨成针
Yeah, except the river kept showing me his Pokemon cards. 不同的是
磨针的人老是跟我显摆他的宠物精灵卡
Ready to go? 可以走了吗
Hang on. This guy's telling me 等等这个人跟我说了
how he got the Serial Ape-ist girl to marry him. 他怎么让《杀人恶猿》女主嫁给他
This guy? 这货吗
But he's wearing a change maker. 可他别了个换零钱机
I think it's hot. 我觉得特性感
That's right. 没错
I'm her change daddy. 我是她的零钱干爹
What was I thinking? 我当时在想什么呢
Wolowitzes are not a lifting people! 沃罗威茨家的人搬不了重物
We tip the lifting people! 我们付小费给搬重物的人
Do we really have to sit for hours in the emergency room? 我们真要在急诊室里等几个小时吗They're just gonna give you ice and Advil like last time. 还不是会和上次一样
给你点冰和止痛药
You're gonna feel terrible when I'm in a wheelchair. 等我以后靠轮椅生活你就后悔去吧Which, by the way, would fit easily in the back 顺便说一下真有轮椅也可以轻松地装进
of this award-winning minivan. 这台获奖的商旅车的后备箱
Fine, we'll go to the E.R. 行了我们去急诊
Just stop selling me on the van. 你就别再给这车打广告了
You're right. It sells itself. 你说对它自己就是最棒的广告
You have to admit, it's a pretty smooth ride. 你也不得不承认行驶确实平稳
I was hoping it'd be quieter. 噪音小点就更好了
If childbirth is half this bad, 生孩子要有这一半疼
you are so screwed! 你就死定了
- Are we there yet?! - Soon. -我们到了吗 -快了
Why is it taking so long?! 为什么这么久
H-Howard, Howard, look at the DVD screen. 霍华德霍华德看屏幕
I put on Batman: The Animated Series. Your favorite! 我在播《蝙蝠侠之风云突变》
你的最爱
I'm in too much pain to watch cartoo... 太疼了没心情看卡通
Oh! This is a good one. 这集好看
I've been babysitting him way longer than you have. 我带这孩子的时间可比你长多了Fine. I'll buy the stupid van. 行我买这台蠢车还不行吗
This is the best blintz I've ever had. 我从来没吃过这么好吃的薄饼
Oh. Thank you. 谢谢
It almost makes up for the incredibly awkward turn 十分美味只差一点就能挽回things took earlier. 刚刚万分尴尬的局面呢
You know what, I-I think I'm just gonna go. 我说我还是走吧
No, Stuart, don't. 不斯图尔特别走
No, I-I consider you and Sheldon like my family, 不我把你和谢尔顿当成我的家人
and I'm not even sure you think of me as a friend. 可我都不确定你们有没有把我当朋友You have any idea how that feels? 你懂那种感受吗
We're so sorry. 我们非常抱歉
I'm always the last one anybody thinks of. 我总是最后一个被想起的家伙
Well, no, that's not true. 不不是这样的
I mean, sometimes it's Koothrappali. 偶尔是库萨帕里
But we're not supposed to say that 但我们不应该这么说
'cause he's a minority. 他是有色人种怕有歧视嫌疑
Bye. 再见
Stuart, wait. 斯图尔特等等
I do know what it feels like to be left out. 我确实知道被冷落的感受
I know how it feels, too. 我也知道那种感受
All right, this is about me and him; you're not part of it. 知道了这是我和他之间的问题
没你事
Stuart, perhaps we do take you for granted, 斯图尔特也许我们太不重视你的好
and that is not acceptable. 这是不可接受的错误
Please know that you truly are a valuable member 但请你知道你真的是我们这个社交团体中of our social group. 非常重要的一员
Thank you. 谢谢
You know, in fact, I'd like to propose a toast. 这样我想举杯祝酒
To Stuart. 敬斯图尔特
A fine man, 优秀男子
a good friend and a wonderful guest. 好朋友还是一位很棒的客人
- Hear, hear. - Cheers. -说得好 -干杯
Cheers. Filmed before a live studio audience. 干杯现场观众实况录播
And that is how a short asthmatic scientist 这就是一个哮喘矮子科学家
landed a stone cold fox. 如何搞定了冷血冰山美人
I didn't know you can propose to the same person 我都不知道跟一个人求婚
so many times. 居然能求那么多次
The third time, I did it in skywriting, 第三次我是让飞机在空中写字求婚
but she never looked up. 可惜她始终没抬头看过
You know, once, I proposed to him. 还有一次是我跟他求婚的
Yeah. I said no. 对被我拒绝了
Why? 为什么
I just wanted to make her work for it. 想让她多费点功夫争取本少爷啊
Yeah, that's gonna cost you later. 对小女子一会儿就"报答"你
Hang on. Is she just with you because you're rich? 等等她是为了你有钱才跟你在一起吗She makes more money than I do! 她挣得比我还多
What?! Who are you?! 什么您是何方神圣
Do you know what else I love about you? 知道我还喜欢你什么吗
Y-Your handwriting is impeccable! 你的字写得无可挑剔
Thank you for noticing! 感谢你注意到啊
No, I mean it. I mean it. 真的我说真的
It's like you have the soul of a label maker. 简直像被打标签机灵魂附体了
You know what I love about you? Hmm? 知道我喜欢你什么吗
You never leave the house without a paper clip! 你出门必备曲别针
You never know when two pieces of paper 上天有不测之风云
might temporarily need fastening in the top left corner. 两纸有左上角待夹
I also love how you never use swear words. 我还喜欢你从来不说脏话
You know, it turns out, 但结果是
you can hurt people just as well without 'em. 骂人不吐脏字照样杀人于无形
Maybe I can get a little help putting some of this stuff away. 谁有空过来帮忙把这些东西收好Oh, calm down. 别激动
I already put away five of these! 我不是才把五杯这个"收进"肚里吗
You see? 你看吧
No muss, no fuss, not a single cuss. 轻松堵上她嘴不用一个脏字