One day a person meet god ... ...
God suddenly decide to give the man a wish ... ...
God asked ... ...
What wishes do you have ... ...
The man thinking ... ...
Heard that cats have9 lives ... ...
Would you please give me9 lives ... ...
God said ... ...
Your wish come true ... ...
One day, the boring ... Want to say one death to die ... ...
There are9 life lying on the tracks ... ...
The results of a train in the past ... ...
The man was dead ... ...
Why is this?
Because the train compartment having10day ... ...
有个人一天碰到上帝......
上帝突然大发善心打算给那人一个愿望......
上帝问......
你有什么愿望吗......
那个人想了想......
听说猫都有9条命......
那请您赐给我9条命吧......
上帝说...... 你的愿望实现咯......
一天，那个人闲来无聊...... 想说去死一死算了......
反正有9条命嘛就躺在铁轨上......
结果一辆火车开过去......
那人还是死了......
这是为什么呢？
因为那列火车的车厢有10节......
Music class the teacher played a Beethoven song
Xiao Ming asked her:" do you understand music?"
Xiaohua:" yes"
Xiao Ming:" you know what teachers do in the shells?"
Xiaohua:" piano."
音乐课上老师弹了一首贝多芬的曲子
小明问小华：“你懂音乐吗？”
小华：“是的”
小明：“那你知道老师在弹什麼吗？”
小华: “钢琴。”
Traveler: Can I catch the three o'clock train to Toronto?
Ticket agent: That depends on how fast you can run. It left fifteen minutes ago.
旅行者：我还能赶上3点钟那班到多伦多的火车吗？
售票员：那得看你跑得有多快。火车15分钟前开出。
有关经典英语小笑话爆笑|20个英语笑话爆笑超短 笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。笑话带来的幽默感可以让我们交到更多的朋友。小编分享有关爆笑经典英语小笑话，希望可以帮助大家! 有关爆笑经典英语小笑话：Good News and Bad News The soldiers had been marching and fighting, they were dirty, hot and tired. One day, the general announced: “My men, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which one would you like first?” ”The good news!” they all shouted. ”OK,” said the General. “The good news is that you will each be receiving a complete change of clothing.” ”Hurrah!” chorused the soldiers. ”And now for the bad news. Jack, you will change with John. John, you will change with Tom. Tom, you will change with Robert. Robert .... 好消息和坏消息 士兵们连续的行军，作战，他们又累又热又脏。一天，将军宣布： “士兵们，我有一些好消息和坏消息要告诉你们。你们愿意先听哪个呢?” “好消息!”他们嚷道。 “好吧，”将军说，“好消息就是你们每个人都可以彻底的换一身 衣服。” “乌拉!”士兵们高兴地大叫起来。 “现在呢，该是坏消息了。杰克，你将和约翰换衣服，约翰，你和汤姆 换，汤姆，你和罗伯特换，罗伯特……”有关爆笑经典英语小笑话：Help! Doctor! Help! Doctor! Please come quickly! ”My ten-year-old son has just swallowed a pen!” ”Ok , I’ll be right there. I’ll be there in 10 to 20 minutes.” ”Good,but....what am I supposed to do in the meantime?” ”Just use another pen!” 急诊 “唉!医生!你赶快来! 我那个十岁的小孩刚刚吞下去一支笔!” “喔!我马上过去，大概十分钟或二十分钟就会到了!” ”是，不过在.....在这个中间我该怎么办呢?” “用别的笔嘛!”有关爆笑经典英语小笑话：Do What You Can Originally in English In a courtroom, the judge sentenced a criminal to thirty years in prison and the prisoner said, “But Sir, I won’t live that long!” So the judge replied, “Don’t worry; just do what you can!” 尽力而为就好 在法庭上，法官宣判某个罪犯要服三十年徒刑。 犯人说：「不过庭上，我活不了那么久啊!」 法官说：「别担心!你尽力而为就好。」
1.猫和老鼠 ——Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top. ——" What's in your box?" asked the friend. ——"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them." ——"But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend. ——"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown. 布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。“盒子里装的是什么？”朋友问道。“一只小猫，”布朗夫人回答说，“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠，我非常害怕。这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友说。“小猫也是假想的。”布朗夫人小声说道。 2.Reached Shore Fast 快速靠岸 A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to
英语幽默笑话带翻译新 GE GROUP system office room 【GEIHUA16H-GEIHUA GEIHUA8Q8-
英语幽默笑话带翻译 1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 医生懂得多 一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多." 2:You can't go without me The bus is very crowded. A man tries to get on, but no one gives way to him. "Hey, let me get on the bus." the man shouts. "It's too crowded. You'd better take the next bus." a passenger says to him. "But you can't go without me. I'm the driver." the man says. 没有我你们走不了 公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路.
1 Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩：这个座位是空的么？ 女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。 2，Boy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money. 男孩：我可以给你买杯饮料吗？ 女孩：你不如直接把钱给我得了。 3. My little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不识字 布朗夫人：哦， 亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！ 布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。” 4. 反正我太太明天会来换的 My Wife Will Exchange Them A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves. ″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson. ″Makes no difference″replied customer. ″What color﹖″ asked the clerk. ″Any″ he responded. ″Size﹖″ ″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasper ated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow t o exchange them.″ 反正我太太明天会来换的 一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。 “您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。
2、一次五岁的儿子问我，我手上拿着的东西是什么，我说是手机，他说为什么叫手机那，我那时正忙就随口唱到“左手一只鸡，右手一只鸭。”儿子露出更加疑惑的表情：“那为什么不叫手鸭那?” 3、我和朋友走到分岔路口，我们以歌作别：“我送你离开，千里之外。”于是，“千里之外”就走了。 4、我家母狗生了两只小狗，因为老婆是新闻记者，所以我们戏称这两只狗为“狗仔队”，一次我们正要kiss，我突然看见“狗仔队”大喊：“狗仔队!”老婆惊吓道：“在哪，不可能，我让他们回去了啊。”关注萌宠逗你乐微信公众号mengchong321 每天接收最新最热门最搞笑的笑话! 5、朝鲜说美国人民生活在水深火热中。朝鲜报首版头条，发表的一张美国人爬在海滩上日光浴的照片，配文：美国人很穷，没有衣服穿，吃不饱饭，人都饿死了，也没人管...... 6、一MM失恋了，几次欲寻短见都被亲友及时发现未能实现。一日趁亲友不备离家出走，急的亲友到处寻找，就在决定报警时，收到她发来的短信：你们不必找我了，我在去往死海的路上，我喜欢大海，我决定在那儿结束我的人生。
7、嫦娥姐姐在吃饭，突然外面一闪，嫦娥一惊，连忙出去看。回来呼了一口气;“杨利伟。。” 8、阿钜和菲菲都耳背。那天菲菲看阿钜出门;“阿钜，你去散步?”“不是啊，我去散步啊!”“哦。。我以为你去散步呢。” 9、阿钜和菲菲商量好走楼梯到他们50层的家。到了10楼，阿钜问菲菲;“菲菲你累了吗?”菲菲摇摇头，他们就继续走。到了30楼，阿钜问菲菲：“菲菲你累了吗?”菲菲摇摇头，他们就继续走。到了49楼，阿钜问菲菲：“菲菲你累了吗?”菲菲使劲点头。阿钜：“那好，我们走回去乘电梯到家吧。” 10、阿钜要考试，妈妈问阿钜书看完了吗?阿钜说：“我看完了。”第二天妈妈看到阿钜不及格的卷子大发雷霆，“你书都看了为什么考这么差!”阿钜：“妈妈，我那天说的是。。。我看，完了。” 11、农夫山泉，有点虫。新闻发布会：关于农夫山泉有点虫的问题，是这样的，我们不生产矿泉水的，我们只是大自然的搬运工。这个嘛，是人人皆知的，在我们的广告中早有声明。既然是大自然，就会有虫虫，大自然如果没有虫虫，那还是大自然吗?最后，祝福大自然越来越美，虫虫多多益善! 12、儿子经常在睡觉前喜欢让妈妈给自己讲故事，听着听着就会慢慢睡着。一天，妈妈外出不在，他就让爸爸给讲，爸爸
英语幽默笑话带翻译 1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 医生懂得多 一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:" 我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动 着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多." 2:You can't go without me The bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. "Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts. "It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him. "But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says. 没有我你们走不了 公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路. "喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道. "车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说. "但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道. 3:Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!" 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年 龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了
短篇英语笑话10则带翻译 ①Goldfish金鱼 Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them? Stan: In the bathroom 。 Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: Blindfold（蒙眼睛）them! =================================================================== 斯丹：我赢了92 条金鱼。 弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？ 斯丹：浴室。 弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？ 斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！ ②The Revenge 欺骗的代价 Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Johnson: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!" =================================================================== 老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。” 妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。” 约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。” 妻子：“为什么？” 约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。” ③I think that I'm a chicken 我想我是一只鸡 Psychiatrist: What's your problem? Patient: I think I'm a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on? Patient: Ever since I was an egg! =================================================================== 精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？ 病人：我认为我是一只鸡。 精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？ 病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。 ④How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出来 Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, "I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?" =================================================================== 当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前，说道：“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢？”
最搞笑的英语小笑话十则 篇一：爆笑的经典英语小笑话 英语笑话（一） 老师在黑板上写了一句：Timeismoney.并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。”小明上英文课时跟老师说：mayIgotothetoilet? 老师说：goahead. 小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：mayIgotothetoilet? 老师说：goahead. 小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！ 英语笑话（二） 某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：Iamhongtaoliu，外宾曰：我Tm 还是方片七呢！英语笑话（三） 江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道："missJiang,youareverybeautiful."翻译照翻，江青心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。 翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："where?where?"外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："everywhere,everywhere." 翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不
见得，不见得”。翻译赶紧翻成英文："Youarenotallowedtosee,youarenotallowedtosee." 英语笑话（四） 话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「IAm后羿！」 b神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「IAm丘比特！」 轮到c了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...Am...soRRY...」 英语笑话（五） 某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：Iamsorry.老外应道：Iamsorrytoo. 某人听后又道：Iamsorrythree. 老外不解，问：whatareyousorryfor? 某人无奈，道：Iamsorryfive. 英语笑话（六） 一位来自日本的旅客，坐出租车去机场的路上，看到一辆汽车经过，就说：“oh，ToKoTA！madeinJapan!Itisveryfast！”又有一辆经过，他又说：“oh，nIssAn！madeinJapan!Itisveryfast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，honDA！madeinJapan!Itisveryfast！”
关于英语小笑话简单爆笑 篇一：爆笑的经典英语小笑话 爆笑的经典英语小笑话 英语笑话（一） 老师在黑板上写了一句： Time is money.并让同学们翻译。 有名学生答道： “汤姆是玛丽。 ” 小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明又坐了下来。 他旁边的同学于是忍不住问： 你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？ 小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！ 英语笑话（二） 某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am hongtao liu，外宾曰：我 TM 还是方片七呢！ 英语笑话（三） 江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马 屁道："Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful." 翻译照翻，江青心花怒 放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪 里，哪里”。 翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："Where? Where?" 外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追 问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："Everywhere, everywhere." 翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得”。翻 译赶紧翻成英文："You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see." 英语笑话（四） 话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。 A 神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。A 高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大 拇指道：「I AM 后羿！」 B 神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM 丘比特！」 轮到 C 了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！ 结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一 句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」 英语笑话（五） 某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞， 忙说：I am sorry. 老外应道：I am sorry too. 某人听后又道：I am sorry three. 老外不解，问：What are you sorry for? 某人无奈，道：I am sorry five. 英语笑话（六）
英语幽默笑话故事带翻译 篇一：英语短文笑话(带翻译) 1、How much English can you speak? "Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English." The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?" The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!" 中文翻译 "法官先生，我的当事人被指控偷窃，这是多么不公正啊。他一周前才来到纽约，几乎不认路。而且，他只会说几个英语单词。" 法官看了看被告，问道："你会说多少英文？" 被告抬起头，说："把你的钱包给我！" 2 A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day, whereas women use 30000 words a day. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. He said, "What?" 丈夫给妻子看了一项调查结果，为了向她证明女人比男人啰嗦。研究表明男人平均每天使用15000个字，而女人每天使用30000个。 妻子想了一会儿说，女人每天说的字数是男人的两倍，因为她们必须重复已经说过的话。他问："什么？" 3 Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩：这个座位是空的么？ 女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。 4、 "Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying." "Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any." "But has he finished his own cake?" "Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that." "汤姆，你弟弟怎么了？" 妈妈在厨房里问。"他在哭。" "没事儿，妈妈，" 汤姆答道。"我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因为我不给他吃。" "他已经吃完自己的了么？" "是的。" "我帮他吃完时，他也哭了。"
最搞笑的英语小笑话十则 生活中怎么能少了笑话来调味一下我们乏味枯燥 的日常呢?一则搞笑的小笑话就能让我们原本苦恼的心情立刻变得像春天的鲜花一样灿烂，学习啦小编为你准备了非常搞笑的英语笑话及其翻译，希望你的生活像夏日的阳光一样! 搞笑的英语小笑话1：E x p e n s i v e P r i c e D e n t i s t:I m s o r r y,m a d a m,b u t I l l h a v e t o c h a r g e y o u t w e n t y-f i v e d o l l a r s f o r p u l l i n g y o u r s o n s t o o t h. M o t h e r: T w e n t y-f i v e d o l l a r s! B u t I t h o u g h t y o u o n l y c h a r g e d f i v e d o l l a r s f o r a n e x t r a c t i o n. D e n t i s t:I u s u a l l y d o.B u t y o u r s o n y e l l e d s o l o u d,h e s c a r e d f o u r o t h e r p a t i e n t s o u t o f t h e o f f i c e. 昂贵的代价 牙科医生：对不起，夫人，为给您的儿子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。 母亲：二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀?
牙科医生：是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人了 搞笑的英语小笑话2：I W a s n t A s l e e p W h e n a g r o u p o f w o m e n g o t o n t h e c a r,e v e r y s e a t w a s a l r e a d y o c c u p i e d.T h e c o n d u c t o r n o t i c e d a m a n w h o s e e m e d t o b e a s l e e p, a n d f e a r i n g h e m i g h t m i s s h i s s t o p, h e n u d g e d h i m a n d s a i d:W a k e u p,s i r! I w a s n t a s l e e p,t h e m a n a n s w e r e d. N o t a s l e e p?B u t y o u h a d y o u r e y e s c l o s e d. I k n o w. I j u s t h a t e t o l o o k a t l a d i e s s t a n d i n g u p b e s i d e m e i n a c r o w d e d c a r. 我没有睡着 当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：先生，醒醒! 我没有睡着。那个男人回答。 没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀? 我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。
英语幽默小笑话六篇 frog 青蛙 Frog The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, "Now I'll show you this frog in my pocket." He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, "That's funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch." 老师正在给学生上生物课：“现在，我将要给你们看我袋子里的这只青蛙。”接着，他把手伸进口袋，却拿出了一份鸡肉三文治。老师满脸困惑地看了一眼，沉思了一会儿，说道：“真奇怪。我明明记得我已经把午饭吃掉了。” 人们什么时候说话最少？ Teacher: What is the plural of man,Tom? 老师: 汤姆，“男人”这个词的复数形式是什么? Tom: Men. 汤姆:男人们。 Teacher: Good. And the plural of child? 老师: 答得好。那“孩子”的复数形式呢? Tom : Twins. 汤姆: 双胞胎。 谁欠谁钱 A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for a consultation. 律师的狗，没有拴而到处闲逛，它来到一家肉店，偷走了一块烤肉。店主来到律师的办公室，问道“如果一条没栓的狗从我的商店里偷了块肉，我有权利从狗的主人那里要回损失吗？律师答道：“完全可以”，“那你欠我8.50美元，你的狗没栓而且今天从我的店里头了块肉”，律师什么都没说，马上给他写了一张支票。一些天后，店主打开邮箱，发现一封来自律师的信，信上写道：咨询费250美元。I Have His Ear in My Pocket I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
英语笑话带翻译短一些的 篇一：超简短的5个英文笑话 超简短的5个英文笑话1. Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. 老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。 One boy throws his bag out the window. 一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。 Teacher: who just threw that?! 老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了? Boy: Me! I’m going home now. 男孩：我!我现在要回家了。 2. What dog can jump higher than a building? 什么狗比大楼跳的还高? Anydog, buildings can't jump! 任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。 3. What has a head, a tail, and no body? 什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体? A coin! 硬币。 4. What has one eye but cannot see? 什么有一只眼睛，却看不见? A needle. 针。 5. Wife: "How would you describe me?" 妻子：你会怎么形容我呢? Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." 丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK. Wife: "What does that mean?" 妻子：那是什么意思? Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." 丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。 Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" 妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢? Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
爆笑的经典英语小笑话 英语笑话（一） 老师在黑板上写了一句：Time is money.并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。” 小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？ 小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！ 英语笑话（二） 某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am hongtao liu，外宾曰：我TM还是方片七呢！ 英语笑话（三） 江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道："Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful." 翻译照翻，江青心花怒放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。 翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："Where? Where?" 外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："Everywhere, everywhere." 翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得”。翻译赶紧翻成英文："You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see." 英语笑话（四） 话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。A 神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大拇指道：「I AM 后羿！」 B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM丘比特！」
经典英语口语小笑话精选 下面是带来的经典英语口语小笑话，欢迎阅读!经典英语口语小笑话篇一Skunk"We have a skunk in the basement," shrieked the caller to the police dispatcher. "How can we get it out?""Take some bread crumbs," said the dispatcher, "and put down a trail from the basement out to the back yard. Then leave the cellar door open."Sometime later the resident called back. "Did you get rid of it?" asked the dispatcher."No," replied the caller. "Now I have two skunks in there!"臭鼬“我们的地下室里有一只臭鼬，打电话的人对警察调度员尖叫道。 “我们怎样才能把它弄出来?“弄一些面包屑，调度员说，“从地下室往外铺一条小道直到后院。 然后将地下室的门打开。 一段时间后，那位居民又将电话打了回来。 “你们将它弄出来了吗?调度员问。 “没有，打电话的人答道，“现在那儿有两只臭鼬了。 经典英语口语小笑话篇二hings Have Been OkayA young couple were becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him. Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, "Mom, the toast is burned.""You talked! You talked!" Shouted his mother. "I'm so happy! But why has it taked this long?""Well, up till now," Said the boy,
英语幽默小笑话大全 1.a kiss At a dinner party, the speaker, who was the guest of honor, was about to deliver a speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it. The guest seated next to the speaker said, "Your wife must love you very much, I see her send you a 'KISS' before you begin your speech." The speaker smiled and explained, "You don't know my wife. The 'KISS' she give me stands for 'Keep It Short, Stupid.'"
2.A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!" Little Johnny then stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!" 一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来？”她一开始就说。 小约翰尼站了起来。