?2?. Looking out toward the horizon, she saw only the old cabin in which Marry was born, a single cottonwood that had escaped the drought and the apparently boundless expanse of sunburned prairie.
3?. We knew that although the documents (文件) have been stolen they have not yet been seen by a foreign agent.
B. The Run-on Sentence (连写句 / 融合句 / 误用逗号连接句)
A run-on sentence or a fused sentence puts together or fuse two or more sentences with no mark of punctuation between them(不用逗号隔开). When two complete sentences run together or are fused with only a comma between them, it is called a comma splice or a run-on sentence or a fused sentence.
e.g.1. The snakes are dangeroushowever, most snakes are quite
harmless.
2. We were early hence we waited outside.
Sentences 1, 2 are run-on sentences. the first clause of each is a complete sentence and the second clause of each is also a complete one. The two clauses should be separated by a period or a semi-colon rather than by a comma, so these two erroneous sentences may be rewritten as the following:
1?. These snakes are dangerous. However, most snakes are quite
harmless.
2?. We were early; hence we waited outside.
Or: We were early. Hence we waited outside.
C. The dangling modifiers (垂悬修饰语)
A careless use of verbal phrases (participle, gerund, infinitive, etc.) (非谓语动词短语)results in a construction usually known as the dangling modifier. A phrase is said to dangle if it is not tied to something it modifies(与修饰的东西无关). It is a stylistic fault(修辞上的错误), not a grammatical one. Most objectionable /disgusting (令人讨厌的)are ones that suggest a ludicrous / absurd (滑稽可笑的)meaning never intended by the writer(那些含有作者从没想到的滑稽荒唐意义的垂悬修饰语), e.g.
1. Last year, after graduating from high school, my father put me to work in his office.
2. To appreciate the poem. It must be read aloud.
3. I helped my mother wash clothes last Sunday, thus causing me to miss that film.
4. Driving across the state, many beautiful lakes were seen.
5. While running down the stairs, the clock struck twelve.
In Sentence 1, the logical subject of the gerund phrase should refer to “I” rather than to “my father”. Since the gerund phrase is not tied to the subject it modified, it is what we call the dangling gerund phrase; in Sentence 2, the logical subject of the infinitive phrase should refer to someone rather than to something. Since the infinitive phrase is not related to the subject it modified, it is what is called the dangling
infinitive phrase; in Sentences 3, 4, 5 the logical subject of the participle phrase should refer to someone rather than to something. Since the participle has nothing to do with the subject it modified, it is what we call the dangling participle phrase. The following is the suggested revision: 1?. Last year, after I had graduated from high school, my
father put me to work in his office.
2?. To appreciate the poem, one must read it out.
3?. I missed that film because I had to stay home to help my mother wash clothes last Sunday.
4?. Driving across the state, one saw many beautiful lakes.
5?. While running down the stairs, I saw the clock strike twelve
D. The illogical or faulty parallelism (误用平行结构)
False parallelism, that is, using parallel structure for ideas that are not parallel, should be avoided. Correlatives (both…and, either… or, neither…nor, etc.) should be used only before sentence elements that are parallel in form, e.g.
I. Unselfish people not only are happier but they are more successful.
2. I finally realized that my daydreaming was not making me beautiful, slender, or friends.
3. He is a man of wide experience and who is also very popular with the farmers.
4. I am interested in electronics, because it is a new field and which offers
interesting opportunities to one who knows science.
In Sentence 1, “not only…but also” should be used to introduce two parallel sentence elements, i.e. “happier” and “more successful” rather than “happier” and “they”; In Sentence 2, “or” should be used to introduce two parallel participle phrases rather than “making…” and “friends”; in Sentence 3, “and “ should be used to introduce two parallel prepositional phrases, i.e. “of… and of …”; in Sentence 4, “and “ should be used to introduce two parallel which-clauses rather than “because clause” and “which-clause”. The corrected sentences are:
1?. Unselfish people are not only happier but also more successful.
2?. I finally realized that my daydreaming was not making me beautiful and slender or bringing me friends.
3?. He is a man of wide experience and also of great popularity among the farmers.
4?. I am interested in electronics, which is a new field and which offers interesting opportunities to one who knows science.
E. The shift in point of view: (角度转换)
Any unnecessary and illogical shift in point of view should be avoided. Unnecessary shift from active to passive voice are undesirable.
A needless/unnecessary shift in number and person should be avoided. Shifts in subject(主语) or perspectives(观点), in tenses, etc., should be
avoided, e.g.
1. We swept the room carefully, and the furniture and shelves were dusted. (An unnecessary shift from active to passive voice)
2. If one?s mouth is dry, eat a lump of sugar or chew gum.
(A needless shift in subject)
3. You must make yourself interesting to the group that listens to you and are constantly trying to detect your mistakes.
(An unnecessary shift in number)
The above three erroneous sentences may be rewritten as the following:
1?.We carefully swept the room and dusted the furniture and the
shelves.
2?. If one?s mouth is dry, one should eat a lump of sugar or chew gum
(口香糖).
3?. You must make yourself interesting to the group that
listens to you
and is constantly trying to detect (找出) your mistakes.
XIV. Propriety and Creativity (得体与创新)
(see p 181 of the text-book)
1. Relationship between propriety and creativity (合适性与创造性之间的关系)
\A) Propriety refers to the appropriate (适当的) arrangement choice of words, sentence patterns and the appropriate arrangement of paragraphs and the whole piece of writing according to the needs of effective communication.
Creativity comes out of creative thinking, which includes producing original ideas (提出创见) and fresh ways of expressing them(表达这些创见的新方法). Creative writing(创造性的) means writing something new(写新的东西), observing a phenomenon from a new aspect(从新的角度观察一个现象), describing an object in a more explicit manner(更明确地描写一个物体), or expounding a viewpoint in a more impressive and persuasive way(给人印象很深的、有说服力的说明一个观点).
B) Propriety and creativity depend on each other. The former is the prerequisite condition(前者是后者的必备条件) for the latter, which in turn serves as the heart of the former(反过来后者是前者的关键). But there are two extremes that should be avoided:
1) Some students are so eager “to write in a creative way” that they use new and difficult words and phrases they find in dictionaries though they do not know exactly what the expressions(词组) mean, and some of them even coin(杜撰) new words. These students like to try out “new techniques of writing” or simply write at will without taking any notice of the principles or methodologies concerning writing in their texts. As a result(因此), their writings usually lack unity and coherence and do not make for(有助于…) smooth reading (读起来不流利) because of their
incongruous style and outlandish (稀奇古怪的) terms.
2）On the other hand, some teachers lay too much emphasis on (过分强调) the form and formulas(公式) of writing and they often inhibit(=prevent压抑) and even kill（扼杀）the students? initiative (积极性) in creative writing. One example is that they pay too much attention to (过分注意) the slips (=little/slight mistakes) in spelling and grammar and other aspects in writing whereas they neglect the sparks of original thinking and fresh forms of expressions.
In order to achieve the best combination (结合) of propriety and creativity in writing practice, it is advisable /reasonable (明智的) to have appropriate handling of the three component parts of an essay.
2. Three component parts of an essay
A) The beginning, the body and the ending are the three organic parts of an essay. As the saying goes, “Well begun / A good beginning is half done/ ; The first blow / A good beginning is half the battle.”, the first paragraph of an essay should be good enough to grab the reader?s attention. Most writers, however, find that
beginning a piece of writing is a most difficult task. In his How to live to be 100 --- Or More, George Burns says:
Well, I’m going to write another book. This is my fourth one, and I’ve learned that the most important thing about writing a book is to have a great first chapter to grab your readers. If you’ve got that, from then on
everything flows (流畅). I’ve also learned that writing a first chapter is not easy.
( see pp183-187)
3. Three devices used to make one’s viewpoints impressive and convincing ( see p 187 of the text-book)
When you have original ideas (创见), you need to express them in such a way that will be most easily and quickly accepted by your target readers. Among other things, the following three devices are the commonest that people often resort to (采用) in order to make their viewpoints impressive and convincing.
A) Support a statement (支撑陈述) with appropriate evidence, e.g.
The United States faces a major crisis in health care (养身), and has a worsening(日益恶化的) social crisis in which over 30 million Americans live below the poverty line, and in which large segments(大部分) of its population continue to be deprived of adequate opportunities for economic advancement.
( Phil Williams, et al: “Health Care and Social Crisis”, International Affairs, Jan., 1993) (see the analysis on p.188)
B )Make an abstract notion somewhat substantial(实实在在的) by using certain verifiable(可核实的) or measurable terms, e.g.
The principle of verification (核实) is supposed to furnish a criterion by which it can be determined whether or not a sentence is
literally meaningful. (Alfred Jules Ayer)
The words “verification(核实)” and ”criterion” give people the impression that what has been discussed can be measured (可衡量的) and manipulated (可操纵的).
C) To be close to the readers and try to influence them with slanted words (see p 190 of the text-book)
To be close to the readers refers to a writer?s attitude or tone towards his target readers. A good writer always bears his target readers in mind and communicates with them on an equal and friendly footing (以平等和有好的关系) with his pen (用笔). One example in this aspect is the use of parenthesis that helps to moderate (缓和) one?s tone, which can be seen in the italicized phrases in the following passages:
What, then, can we learn from Samuel Johnson in general(大体上)? First, I think, the inestimable(不能估计的) value of individuality. (F. L. Lucas)
Whether this slowing-down of traffic(交通上降低车速) will cause a great or a small loss of national income is, I am told, a point on which expert economists have not agreed. (Max Beerbohn)
Sometimes the writer also uses the first person plural instead of singular so as to give people the impression that the writer and the
reader share the views under discussion, e.g. :
(see the example on p.
191)
For the first time in memory, our decision came down to the final week. When we began deliberating (=think about carefully仔细考虑) in early November, the midterm elections made it appear that Monica Lewinsky scandal might recede into being (慢慢消失了) but a tale of sound(散布谎言) and fury(怒火冲冲) signifying little.(不大重要) The global economic turmoil(混乱) and rolling (不稳定的)stock markets could turn out, it seemed, to be of more lasting importance (似乎带来永久的影响), …
(Walter Isaacson: “How We Made the Choice”, Time,
December 28, 1998---January 4,1999)
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